Fixing... University Of Maryland Football

I am well aware this is a little late, but I was waiting on Uni Watch (www.uni-watch.com) to post my designs. I also didn't know Maryland was going to spring surprise uniforms on everyone for their opening game, apparently a uniform design version of "pull my finger" that had a similar outcome. I also didn't know that Maryland's intentionally garish uniforms would be so successful at making people talk about them, their cry for help worked really well.

I'm going to break from my Tweak/Fix format because the uniforms they unveiled initially and the ones they used against Miami are beyond tweaking for me. All I could think about during their first game was how Maryland looked like they should be the Joker or Two Face's henchmen from the 1960's Batman show, all they needed was Randy Edsall doing a Cesar Romero impression on the sidelines (Go get 'em boys!) to make it complete.

The only redeemable design elements for me are a sparing use of the black/yellow pattern from the Maryland flag and the turtle shell pattern on the white helmets. The below pictures are graphic and may cause vomiting and dizziness, they should not be viewed by anyone under the age of 18.

Holy shit, what is going on with that sleeve?!

I still can't decide if these are worse than the ones worn against Miami.

Gah! Patterned gradient numbers! Damn you all to hell!

Ok, so those are all horrible. I can't stand gradients, and the double sin of gradient numbers with a pattern behind it just makes it worse. These aren't so much uniforms as they are an attempt to get attention through garish design, which is sad, no fan base deserves this (well, maybe stanfurd) kind of uniform treatment. Maryland also seems to have fallen prey to the growing desire for black uniforms, but at least in Under Armour's defense they actually have black in their school/state colors.

FIX

So I decided that the black/yellow stripe on the helmet was by far the best part of the original designs. I really liked that move, it was subtle and made a node to the state flag. I definitely didn't want to drape the players in the state flag, but I wanted to use the black/yellow pattern and stick to white and red as the base of the design. I also decided to get rid of the "Terps" helmet logo they have been using for a long time, but I didn't want a blank helmet like their design, so I went with a lighter shell pattern and a new helmet logo. I caved in and made a black third/alternate uniform, I managed to avoid the "everything black" treatment that most teams go for. I can only imagine what college football games will look like in 10-15 years with every single team coming out with a solid black uniform.

HOME

AWAY

ALTERNATE

ENLARGED HELMET (Home/Road & Alternate)

Fixing... Newcastle United FC

Welcome to the first of many new posts dedicated to fixing horrible uniform designs. I have been upset with various designs over the years, which is why we started the 10 Best/Worst kits posts, but I've never really done anything beyond furrow my brow in dismay. I'm going to split these into two designs; Tweak (slight change to existing design), and Fix (making things much better).

My first target is the atrocious home kit for Newcastle United FC. These guys have been slowly descending into the depths of design hell over the years, and they managed to hit rock bottom for the 2011-12 season. This is kind of depressing, considering the yellow/blue debacle of the 2009-10, at least those retained the classic striping pattern.

Horrible

TWEAK

I'm completely frustrated with the way they changed the striping, and the sponsor logo patch makes me weep. I brought back the striping, the sleeves can stay white, and brought the Puma logo down to align with the club crest. The Northern Rock logo goes to gold with a white outline, no need for the black box.

FIX

Completely restored the striping that looks so good, and now that Adidas isn't the sponsor the triple tripe look is gone. Puma logo aligns with the crest, like the tweak, and I decided to go in another direction with the sponsor logo. Northern Rock uses a magenta square logo, which is actually semi-hidden in the text logo (its the period), so why not go bold with the logo? I'm not a huge fan of corporate logos on uniforms, but if we are going to do it why not make it unique and visually interesting?

Top Ten Best Club Kits Of 2011-2012

With the worst kits out of the way, it time to open the season with a look at the best kits of the season. I wasn't really blown away by anything, aside from the Russian Premier League and the J-League landing two on the list, but it was a pleasant to cut this down from twelve instead of working with seven or eight.

SUNDERLAND (Home & Away)

This is amazing to me, Sunderland managed to keep their home kit looking nice AND come up with a decent away kit. They kept the stripes, simple black collar and cuffs, and the away is so clean and simple I couldn't help liking it. I actually wanted to add Rangers' new away kit since its essentially the same design as Sunderland's. The only gripe I have is the construction and how the stripes meet at the back, this doesn't look right at all, I'm sure the stripes could have been aligned.

ZENIT ST. PETERSBURG (Home)

I know, its got a pattern, but its subtle and simple enough that it doesn't bother me. I almost wish that the sleeves were also patterned, but I've seen a number of pictures of this kit in action and the pattern doesn't stand out as much as you would think.

EVERTON (Home & Away)

Not much to say here, but right up my alley. Simple, clean, and the only thing I would add is a collar to the away similar to the home.

INTER MILAN (Home)

Tried an true, the stripes of Inter Milan come through again. Had a great kit last year, still do, and I love their name/number font. This was almost Manchester City's new away, but in the end the odd orientation of the shoulder striping made me change my mind. Now if only Inter would sell Sneijder to a certain team in Manchester, I'd be even happier.

OLYMPIQUE LYON (Home)

Another nice kit from Lyon, they have been doing some really great work with that blue and red stripe for years now. I also enjoy the very subtle image of their lion crest in the stripe, really hard not to like this one. Only improvement would be the centered Adidas logo, why Adidas? WHY?!

MAINZ (Home)

Arsenal manage to continue their streak of great jerseys, oh, I meant Mainz. This is basically Arsenal's kit aside from the thick red cuffs, but that doesn't mean it isn't a great look. I love the solid body and white sleeves, lets just hope Mainz doesn't have jockey uniforms next year.

Arsenal look good this year.

BOHEMIAN FC (Away)

Girondins de Bordeaux, I hope you are reading this, because this is how to use a V design. Simple and clean, nicely placed striping, why is this so hard?

NAGOYA GRAMPUS (Home & Away)

I was going to spend most of this paragraph wondering what a "Grampus" is, but I don't think anyone wants to read it. Another good example of well designed V striping, I even like how the sponsor logo fits in. I'm sure Chevron is crossing their fingers that Lyon uses this design next year.

URAWA RED DIAMONDS (Home & Away)

I love collars, I really wish more teams would use them again. This is another example of how patterns can look great without being overwhelming. Simple designs done well, hard to believe these were made by the same company that created the Oregon Ducks 2008 uniforms.


SPARTAK MOSCOW (Home & Away)

These are awesome, and possibly my favorites for the year. I love the centered location of the team crest, the reversal of the colors between home and away, and how the sponsor's logo almost feels integrated into the design. I was really pleased with these since most of the Russian Premier League kits (Part 1 & Part 2) either look like shit or a plain shirt with a sponsor ironed on the front.

Top Ten Worst Club Kits Of 2011-2012

With many leagues already started, and the Prem kicking off in a week, its time for the Sports Optimator's annual kit rant. I'm actually semi-pleased this year, since it wasn't painful to identify ten good kits, but the crop of horrible designs was ripe and ready for criticism. I'm going to start with the ten worst, which wasn't as deep as previous years, and start a new segment I'm going to call "You Decide" since I can't be rational with the bonus 11th design. As usual, these are in no particular order, they all tend to suck fairly equally.

BORUSSIA DORTMUND (Home & Third)

Oh, how the Sports Gods test my new found interest in the Bundesliga. Gradients, and worse, dotted gradients may actually be my mortal enemy. They also lose points for having a design that has a giant blank space for the sponsor logo. I'm also really confused when it comes to Dortmund since they started 2010 with a pretty nice home kit, then changed at the end of the year to an ugly one, now they start the 2011-12 season with an even worse one. Maybe winning the Bundesliga has gone to their heads.

I'm almost sorry I started following them.

NEWCASTLE UNITED (Home)

I think the first time I saw this I may have actually muttered "There is no God" and held my head in my hands. Ever since Newcastle United got a divorce from Newcastle Brown Ale things have only gotten worse. This kit was once a classic and one of my favorites, but now its just a giant mess. The striping has been ruined, the manufacturer logo is bizarrely placed high up on the shoulder (not an improvement on Adidas' super-center-alignment approach from 2009-10), blank patch for the sponsor, and the back is a train wreck. I can't believe I'm saying this, but the kit was better last year.

I think this caused Joey Barton's twitter rant.

AC MILAN (Home)

Adidas is really testing my patience. All they really did here was change the stripe width, and it makes my blood boil. There is something decidedly unpleasant about the striping, it reminds me of an optical illusion that will no doubt cause eye strain, which is appropriate for a league that is hard to watch. Add in the white sleeves, and you have a completely forgettable kit, please go back to the wider stripes Adidas!

OLYMPIQUE MARSEILLE (Away & Third)

OM continues its tradition of bizarre kit designs yet again. The away kit isn't that offense, but I have a thing against patterned fabric, and this kit reminds me of upholstery. The third kit might actually make my eyes bleed if I look at it much longer, maybe bar codes are fashionable in France.

ARSENAL (Away)

Say it ain't so Arsene! After a few years of some great kits, the Gunners get a weird one. This looks like a rugby shirt you would buy at Abercrombie & Fitch, and it get worse thanks to one of the most entertaining players in football. I'm not making this up, when Andrei Arshavin was asked about the new away kit he said "Our guest [away] uniform next season will look like jockey clothes." I think that pretty much sums it up.


GIRONDINS DE BORDEAUX (Home, Away & Third)

Why do the French have such an obsession with sailor boys?! Ok, I get it, the team crest has a V in it, and the kit mirrors that. It still looks like a sailor outfit, like these guys are going to a Halloween party, Manchester United was able to pull off the V so it can't be that hard.


WERDER BREMEN (Home & Away)

Woof, these look horrible, especially the away Orange/Green kit. They had decent orange kits with some green two years ago, but these just look horrible. All I can think of is pumpkins, and then my eyes start to get tired with all the stripes. They lose even more points with the electrical tape font on the back that is almost as bad as Netherlands' international kits.
Side note : How is it that the Bundesliga doesn't have a standard font? The Premier League has a standard font, even the Championship and League One have one, but the Bundesliga doesn't? So few teams pull off a decent custom font (Inter Milan, Bayern Munich, Barcelona) I don't see why more leagues don't go to a standard font.

GAMBA OSAKA (Home, Away & Third)

At first I tried very hard to confine this list to the biggest leagues, but the J-League really stepped it up to make it in. These all look like they belong in the Tour de France, not on the pitch, and even the tiniest details leave me wondering what they were thinking. Their club crest has five stars, most likely representing league titles, but the arrangement of the stars is so random, they aren't even centered on the crest. Also another kit with the manufacturer's logo placed higher up on the shoulder than the crest, this must be a new trend since its spread to Umbro.

PSV EINDHOVEN (Away)

Holy hell, this kit is basically a laundry list of every design trend that makes me insane. Patterned body that doesn't match the back, solid sleeves with a patterned body, shoulder stripe, sponsor patch, and the spreading trend of another sponsor where the player's name should be while the name is now below the number.

BARCELONA (Home)

This initially drew my ire because it appeared that Nike was going to use this striping pattern on four other kits (Inter Milan, Juventus, and Atletico Madrid), which drives me nuts. World Cup kits often leave me disappointed because manufacturers just come out with one kit, slap on the crest, and change the colors. Its boring, and sad, and I thought this was going to happen. Luckily for everyone else it looks like Nike decided that only Barcelona's kit would be ugly. Nike messed with the stripes, this seems to be a theme this year, and made a mess out of a kit that usually looks good. The only upside is that they got rid of the horrible electric yellow from last year.

YOU DECIDE

FRENCH NATIONAL TEAM (Away)

Of all the kits I looked at, I found myself spending an enormous amount of time thinking about this one. The first time I saw this I paused a moment and said "This looks like a gondola pilot's uniform", and I was pretty damn close. Apparently this was inspired by the French Navy, more specifically La Mariniére which is a 19th century naval uniform. I get where they are going here, everyone likes Breton stripes, and they do look good, but I couldn't help laughing a little. After the farce France pulled at the 2010 World Cup, I would assume they would steer clear of anything even remotely comical, but maybe in France this is a source of enormous pride. If this was any other country (well, aside from Italy) I wouldn't have found anything funny.

If Samir Nasri comes out in a red snood I will die laughing.

NCAA Football 12 Demo & Teambuilder Impressions

Before I get into the review I need to let you know that I had to look at this from two angles; one as someone new to the game, and one as a veteran of the NCAA Football series. I am a long time fan of the series, and over the years EA has been dragging its feet in a number of areas (which I will get to a little), so my opinion of the game has been tainted by years of disappointment and flimsy excuses. I tend to frequent the EA forum for the NCAA Football series, so I know what kinds of comments the players make every year and how EA responds, so I had to look at this game from two perspectives to be fair.

The demo was released on June 28th, and the Teambuilder website went live on June 30th, so I've had a few days to fiddle with both. Sadly, and most likely on purpose, EA has not given the demo the instant replay or screen grab functions so I've had to borrow from Operation Sports (www.operationsports.com) and Pasta Padre (pastapadre at Youtube.com) to spruce up this post. The demo is also limited to 2:00 halves, so the games went quickly and I wasn't able to scrutinize the game play as much as I'd hoped.

PRESENTATION

This was no surprise since EA beats us over the head with all of the presentation improvements. I like to call it a new shade of lipstick for the same old pig, and over the years it seems that they spend the bulk of their time and energy on this, and it shows. This year they introduced a number of program specific team entrances, implemented High-Dynamic-Range (HDR) Lighting, and three dimensional grass. Only downside of the entrances is that not all teams have one, but I didn't really expect them to do this. Hopefully they removed the horribly generic and half-baked bands they introduced in '11.

A few team entrances (Thanks to Pasta Padre)

EA has also continued to add more and more equipment for personalization, but they seriously failed in the player customization department. I have to give them credit for adding more helmet, face mask, glove, and miscellaneous equipment options. I can't personally view these options until the game comes out, but I've seen enough pictures to feel comfortable that they are in the game. As for the player models, I think '12 has one of EA's biggest jokes. For years players have wanted hair options back in the game, and many have flooded the forums with requests for hair (the demand for dreadlocks was high), so what did EA do? They gave us dreads, one kind on a single player model. All they did was add a single African American player model with long black dreadlocks, and I can't tell if I should be disappointed or insulted.

Oregon-Texas (Operation Sports)

The majority of the presentation is perfectly fine, the three dimensional grass can only be seen in up close shots and I don't really care about it all that much. The game looks really good, as it has in past years, so I'm mostly happy with this. Score : 9/10.

FEATURES

I really wish they had given us access to some of the features, like custom playbooks, but the only thing you can do in the demo is play an Oregon-Texas or Alabama-Florida State game. The big features they have been touting this year are custom playbooks, custom conferences, and something they are calling the Coaching Carousel.

I'll have to reserve some judgement on these, since I can't give you a first hand account, but I know the fans have been screaming for custom playbooks for years. It looks like we can finally build our own and choose which plays and formations we want to use, which for me is a big deal. I'm pretty lukewarm on the custom conferences because they gave us a half-baked version of it in '11 that left everyone disappointed, and now we get a functional version.* From what I've seen you can build conferences from scratch, assign title games and affiliated bowls, and even toggle AQ status. The Coaching Carousel has "We'll get it right next year" written all over it for me based on the existing information. Apparently you can start in a dynasty as an offensive or defensive coordinator and only have control over your side of the ball (very nice), and as the seasons go on you have the option to move to other schools and take on a head coaching position (also very nice). What hasn't been made clear is whether or not you can hire an OC/DC when you are a head coach, and they haven't said anything about the effect an OC/DC has on recruiting. I'm pretty disappointed here, just see the custom conferences rant below.

* Quick tangent on EA and their incomplete features. They seem to make it a point to add features that don't work properly, or don't function as they should, with the intention that in the future it will work. In '11 you could only swap teams, or replace an existing team with a Teambuilder one. If you replaced a team, the Teambuilder team would inherit the rivals of the team it replaced with no way to reassign them. You were also limited by the existing conference structure, if you wanted to create a new 12 team conference with a title game (like the Pac-12) you would have to dismantle an existing 12 team conference and possibly lose your AQ standing.

Score : N/A.

GAME PLAY

I didn't play that many games, and the ones I played were limited to 2:00 quarters, but I didn't need long to spot all of the red flags. When it comes to the issue of game play I need to be upfront about my feelings on '11; it was awful. I hated the game play in '11, and as far as I was concerned it was a low point in the franchise. EA refuses to put enough effort into fixing the game play, instead opting for presentation (the new shade of lipstick) and false improvements. In '11 they touting an improved blocking system, which fooled me enough to buy the game, but after hundreds of games (and even more expletives) I realized that all they did was put defenders on rails (more about this later) and make holding legal and frequent. Those who bought the game right away were met with the Route Mirroring fiasco, where defenders in man coverage would run a receiver's route before they did, so you would have receivers following their defender and nowhere to throw the ball.

Despite my previous comments, I was pleasantly surprised with the new upgrades. The biggest game play upgrades this year were improved animations/player interactions and zone coverage. The game has been plagued by "warping" for years, where blockers/receivers will slide or warp into place to make a block or catch a ball. This has been attributed to flaws in the animation sequence, and based on what I have seen so far this may have been fixed. They also made momentum a factor, as in previous years a stationary defender could absolutely destroy a player running at full speed and send him flying backwards. This year the animations look much better, and the momentum improvements look great.

As for zone coverage, I'm a little torn here. Zone coverage in '11 was a joke, just completely useless. Players would drop to their zones, and just stand in the middle of the zone. If you ever used a zone coverage against the CPU it would completely eviscerate you, and it was marginally useful against other players in zone blitzes. Aside from that, I wouldn't be caught dead calling a zone coverage. This year they improved the coverage, but may have gone a little too far (like the Route Mirroring fiasco) from what I've seen. For years EA has failed to understand that a defender in a back pedal, no matter what position, isn't even remotely as fast as a player running forward in a full sprint. This failure remains in '12, and when you add this to the new zone coverage you get a bunch of guys in backpedals in short bursts of perfect man coverage. I've seen a number of clips where a defensive lineman is able to cover a WR effectively in zone coverage, and this makes me extremely wary. In '11 defensive lineman were better in pass coverage than most defensive backs, this included jumping up in the air and battling balls down way over their heads with perfect precision. I like the attempt at making the coverage useful, which I found it in the games I played, but I'm certain that further scrutiny will reveal enormous problems.

Some game footage (Pasta Padre)

It didn't take me long to notice the return of the single biggest problem with game play for me, and it pretty much doomed '12 in my eyes. The defenders are still on rails, a deal breaker for me that signals that the blocking AI is still atrocious. In '11 EA put the defenders on rails, which means that the defensive line and any blitzing linebacker will essentially run a route. These defenders rush to spots on the field, and they will always rush to those spots no matter where you move the defender. If you have two blitzing outside linebackers coming inside the defensive ends, and then decide you want to flex them outside of the ends and pinch down the line, you get this comical situation where your defenders run all the way over to their assigned spots (See diagram below). I hate this, its stupid, its how EA "improved" the blocking schemes in '11.

Defenders on rails.

The CPU also seems to play by a different set of rules yet again. I did like that the pass rush was more realistic, but when I was on defense I was getting absolutely no penetration and my lineman were being held. I wasn't able to get to the QB to see if they fixed the issues with a QB being tackled getting off a perfect pass 20 yards down field, but I'm willing to bet they didn't fix it. My biggest problem with '11 was how bad the defensive AI was, and it seems like nothing has changed aside from the zone coverage.

This pretty much killed '12 for me, especially when I saw my defense was still on rails. Score : 4/10 (as a long time player), 8/10 (new player).

TEAMBUILDER 2012

I'm not going to spend too much time on this, but I am going to say this is a perfect example of how EA revels in its lack of innovation. For the third lackluster year in a row they don't provide a variety of generic stadiums, all you can choose from is a generic bowl style and a generic pro style. Yet again they don't have Ohio State's shoulder stripe template, but they did get Iowa's face mask color right after two years of making them grey. Still no generic mascots, and from what I can tell they only added one new one. The field design options are extremely limited, but they really weren't thinking when they gave us the option to use an existing field for a custom team.** The final straw for me was the same three font choices for the third year in a row, and to make it worse the chest text option is still a steaming pile of crap. You are limited to ten characters and the same three fonts nobody uses. I applaud EA's commitment to a lack of excellence here.

** Ok, sorry for another tangent, but this pissed me off. So people have been demanding more endzone design options, like Tennessee's and Notre Dame's. So what does EA do? They give us the existing fields. I want a checkered endzone, but what the hell am I going to do with Tennessee's field if my team isn't named Tennessee and the school colors aren't orange and white? This is yet another sign that EA doesn't care about improving the game, just making enough changes to market a "new" game. So frustrating.

Score : 2/10 (as a long time player), 6/10 (new player).

FINAL VERDICT

After playing the demo and being horribly disappointed by Teambuilder (yet again), I can confidently say I'm not going to be buying this game or any other NCAA Football game for a few years. I didn't even get into the lack of FCS schools, and I won't, but maybe when the PS5 comes out EA will put out a decent game for once. With that in mind, if you have never played an NCAA Football game before you will probably like it. I'm excited about a number of the features I mentioned, and I like the presentation alot, but I won't be enjoying them.

Overall : 5/10 (as a long time player), 8/10 (new player).

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 70 Games Down

I doubt anyone cares, I certainly didn't, but you may have noticed that I skipped a few entries. I've spent the past few weeks questioning my will to live, well not really, just my will to go on managing my team. As far as I'm concerned Andrew and I have been eliminated as possible champs, so all we can do is squabble over finishing in the money.

Andrew has fallen farther in the standings and the gap between him and #1 is probably the biggest its been all season. The team in first, who thankfully deposed the benefactor of Trade Gate, has 65 points and Andrew sits at 6th with 48. His problem is clear; hitting. Offensively the Teabaggers aren't hitting aside from Joey Votto, Brian McCann, and Lance Berkman. If you ever talk to Andrew he will gladly give you lecture about how Dan Uggla, Shin-Soo Choo, Kasey McGehee, Billy Butler, and Jason Bay are killing his team. I actually get up on a daily basis and thank the Baseball Gods that Uggla and his .177 average isn't on my team, and it makes it even worse that he has only hit 8HR and driven in 18RBI. At least Andrew's pitching staff remains awesome, so awesome that if it were mine I would be in first.

Seriously, who knew Jason Bay would suck?

My team is currently in the middle of a catastrophic free fall, which I should have known was coming. I'm losing players left and Wright (oh, that was so clever), and my roster is such a fucking mess with regards to position eligibility. If David Wright isn't done for the season and comes off the DL I think my roster will literally burst into flames. I've got Wright, Matt Holliday, Brett Anderson (probably also done for the season), and (gleefully) Derek Jeter on the DL. Add in Mike "I just got sent down to the minors" Aviles and I'm just sick and tired of losing games/at bats.

Killing me slowly (Shown in order of how much I hate them.)

The only upside to my current situation is that I've still got the best offense in the league. I spent most of my draft capital on hitting, so I'm happy things are working out, but my fingers-crossed pitching strategy has produced the 7th best staff... not good. I managed to snag Ryan Vogelsong for Brett Anderson, and I made a deal with the roster devil to get Eric Hosmer for Aviles. So my season is now riding on two youngsters that are all potential. I'm going to go throw up now.

The (frighteningly) young faces of hope.

Current Status
Bert - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!
Andrew - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 40 Games Down

Oh the mighty Baseball Gods have not been kind these past few weeks. They shower us with gifts and then kick us in the teeth, but it hurts so good. There hasn't been too much change in the overall standings as I float between first and second, and Andrew remains mired in fifth. Unfortunately the benefactor of the dubious trade has climbed into third, and I couldn't be more upset.

Based on some of our conversations I'm not sure if Andrew will live past the end of May. I've been trying to tell him the season is just 1/4th over, but his standards of play are so high it might as well be October. Andrew just got Victor Martinez off and Zach Greinke off the DL, so he should have some hitting and pitching help on the way. I don't think it matters since he hit the lottery with the free agent additions of Michael Pineda (5-2, 52K, 2.45ERA, 1.01WHIP) and the streaking Anibal Sanchez, but Andrew lost Dallas Braden for the season. His deep pitching staff is struggling, headed by his beloved Chris Carpenter (1-4, 4.88ERA), and the now-mortal Jered Weaver and Dan Haren. His hitting has slowed as well, but with a number of studs having bad starts (Dan Uggla, Shin-Soo Choo, Billy Butler) he should be in for an upswing. If it weren't for Jose Bautista's monstrous start he would have the best player in baseball, Joey Votto, so he shouldn't be in 5th for too long.

Maybe next year.

I can't complain all that much since I've stayed in the Top 3 all year, but I actually have a serious problem brewing. David Wright's season is over, well, they haven't said that yet but I'm assuming it is. Wright has been diagnosed with a stress fracture in his back, which I read as "broken back" followed by cursing at the Baseball Gods. This is just like last season when I lost Kevin Youkilis, a four stat stud, but this time its a five stat stud. This all comes off the merry-go-round I have at 2B/SS, which is causing me heartburn. I (finally) dropped Sean Rodriguez, simply because he wasn't starting, and added Mike Aviles only to see him drop into the role of a spot starter. I assumed Aviles would be a starter, since he is listed as one on the Royals depth chart, but he seems to start every other game.

I was too lazy to photoshop in Rodriguez and Aviles, but you get the idea.

At least I can pat myself on the back a little over the Roy Oswalt DL situation. I knew Oswalt would only be out a week, so I managed to avoid the temptation of adding Alexi Ogando or Zach Britton. Ogando and Britton would only start once that week, also because of our waiver rules when Oswalt came back I would make those two available to the rest of the league, so I went for Jhoulys Chacin of the Rockies. Chacin is currently leading the Rockies in Wins, Ks, and ERA, plus he had two starts that week away from Coors Field. In both starts (Padres and Mets) he faced toothless teams in pitchers parks and went 1-0 with 11K, 4ER, and 8BB in 12IP, not bad. In that same week Ogando (1-0, 5K, ER, BB) and Britton (5K CG Shutout) both pitched well, so at least I didn't serve them up for everyone else. Not the league-winning stroke of managerial genius I had hoped for, but at least I made the right choice.

Its pronounced "Yo-lease"

Current Status
Bert - There's no ransom if you don't have a fucking hostage. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.
Andrew - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 30 Games Down

What the Baseball Gods giveth, the Baseball Gods taketh away. Thus is the tale of the past week, and luckily they took a little bit more away from Andrew than they did from me. I have to admit that is a short term view of the situation, but I'm feeling a little better about the long term.

From the ashes of my riskiest selections rise two pitching performances to put me at ease for a few days. First Max Scherzer showed why people have been so high on him by tossing a gem (8IP, 4H, BB, 9K and the W), and then Yovani Gallardo tried to prove to me that he isn't shit by just barely missing a no-no (8IP, H, 4BB, 6K and a much needed W) and extending his stay on my team. Also, it makes me a little sick to say it, but... Derek Jeter finally had a great day. I feel dirty. He went 4/6 with 2HR, raising his season total to 2 and making me hate him just a little bit less.

I did not photoshop his eyes. He actually has two different color eyes.

These things were nice, but I have my share of pain on the way. After dicking around with Carlos Ruiz for a week the Phillies finally put him on the DL, so I'll finally get a warm body in at Catcher. I'm also facing another week, and possibly more, without Roy Oswalt. Oswalt took off a week to attend to his family in Mississippi, which is fine, but now he is headed for the DL with back problems. I'm not looking forward to playing the DL game, but as long as its not my best players I'm ok.

Andrew has not had a good week. Jered Weaver proved to be mortal in a loss to Boston, and then followed that up with a loss to Cleveland. Weaver allowed 7 runs in two games after only allowing 5 in his first six (all wins), not to mention only six strikeouts (0 against Cleveland). Weaver's ERA has exploded, going from .99 to a humiliating 1.87, and his spot in the Angels rotation is at risk. If he allows any more runs he could get sent down to AAA before the end of May. In actuality that is the worst thing to happen aside from falling to 5th in the standings, which is the equivalent of death to him. Lance Berkman continues to destroy the league, he added the studly Michael Pineda and Brandon Beachy (DL add for Dallas Braden) who are pitching like Aces, Dan Haren is back to being Dan Haren, and Joey Votto continues his campaign to knock off Albert Pujols as baseball's top player.

Current Status
Bert - Well they can fucking unpost it!
Andrew - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 20 Games Down

Ah, what a season so far. Nothing earth shattering has happened, but at the current rate Andrew and I might be very pleased by the end of the season. We had our first trade of the season in the league, and Andrew and I are still trying to get over how bad it was. You can't have a good season without some controversy.

Andrew is busy at the moment building a monument to Jered Weaver. Weaver is 6-0 in 6 starts with 49K, an ERA of .99, and a .79 WHIP. You might say that he is having a good start to the season, and I would say that I'm annoyed that I wasn't more aggressive in bidding for him.

For the Baseball Gods so loved the world...

I wish I has someone to harp about on my team, but with Matt Kemp coming down to earth a bit I'm stuck just hoping Yovani Gallardo and Max Scherzer don't screw me over on a weekly basis. In the time it took me to start this post and get to this sentence Scherzer went from 5 shutout innings and 7K to 7IP and 5ER. Its going to be a long season for me... again. At least Matt Holliday is hitting .423 and looking fatter than ever.

Now for the trade. It was bad, it started out much worse, but after a league wide outcry it was watered down from complete shit to just flat our crap. The first form of the trade was Tim Lincecum and Wandy Rodriguez for Francisco Liriano and Gavin Floyd. Why you would give up Lincecum for a shit sandwich is beyond me, and we blocked it. Sadly it came back and was begrudgingly approved as Lincecum, Rodriguez, and Joba Chamberlain for Liriano, Floyd, and Ricky Nolasco. So now one team has Roy Halladay, Tim Lincecum, Clayton Kershaw, and Justin Verlander. This trade makes no sense no matter how I look at it.

Current Status
Bert - That rug really tied the room together, did it not?
Andrew - Way to go Donny!

Nike Finally Gets Something (Mostly) Right

After years of violating our visual senses, it looks like Nike has come up with something good. I'm hoping this spreads to other schools, but I'm not going to hold my breath hoping for something good at Oregon, Miami, or Virginia Tech. Nike's Pro Combat designs have been flat out horrible, and the three people that read this blog know how I feel about them. Nike seems to have broken away from the Pro Combat looks in creating Arizona States new uniforms, and I am delightfully surprised.

The 2010 edition. Horrible.

ASU had one of the worst uniform sets last year, mainly the maroon-on-maroon home look that makes me bleed internally. Nike has gone with a complete overhaul of the current look and added a black uniform set. They ditched the golden yellow piping, and most interestingly they dumped Sparky their long time logo/mascot. This is an obvious, and effective, attempt by Nike and ASU to bring a little more attention to their football program. If you google "Arizona State University" images you will quickly realize what the school is known for, and it isn't football.

A quick search for "Arizona State" yielded this, its the tamest one that came up.

The Good : I'm so happy they stuck with the traditional golden yellow and maroon colors, not a huge fan of maroon but considering the game of color hot potato they have been playing up in Eugene this is a plus. I don't have anything against Sparky, but the new helmet logo is great. I didn't come up with this, and if I could remember where I heard it I'd give them credit, but Sparky kinda looks like Walt Disney in a devil costume. The new trident logo is simple, relates to Sparky, and works really well as a helmet logo.

Sparky vs. new trident logo and ASU text.

I'm also happy they simplified the jersey and pants, getting rid of all piping and pants stripes. The addition of the trident shoulder striping is also a great move. Its similar to USC's shoulder stripes, which are a classic look, but with a modern twist. I'm not a huge fan of black uniforms if black isn't one of your school colors, but whatever. I'd feel better if they only used the black helmet and pants together with the white or maroon jersey, but I'm sure they will mix and match like Oregon. Also, I like the change to a Florida State style number font.

The 2011 edition. Very nice.

Bonus points for the tasteful Pat Tillman tribute on the collar. The marketing photos make the logo seem extremely prominent, but when you look at the players wearing them its very subtle.

The Almost Bad : My biggest gripe is with the ASU text on the shoulders. They just don't seem to fit in, I'm not sure if I can explain it. They look like Nike panicked because the uniforms look so different from previous years, so they needed something to let you know its Arizona State. I would have gone with numbers here like USC. I also have a long standing hatred for gradient numbers, which you see on the black jerseys.

Gradient numbers, my mortal enemy.

Overall this is a big win for Nike and Arizona State. Worst case scenario I go on to hate the ASU on the shoulders and best case scenario it helps the people of Tempe forget that their team sucks.