We know its not Obama, but I think you get the point (especially if you are an Irish fan).
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Sports Optimator Salutes FOX News
The Sports Optimator is working hard to cover the world of sports and sports related stories, and like most writers we are heavily influenced by the best. We thought about the best ways to instill our opinions with integrity and report only the most reputable stories, and it didn't take long for us to come up with some names synonymous with great journalism; Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly, etc. With this in mind we are proud to announce that the month of December is going to be FOX News month at the Sports Optimator. All month we are going to report from the world of sports in a style that really speaks to the heart of America, so start thumping your bibles and draw a Hitler moustache on Obama with a sharpie!
We know its not Obama, but I think you get the point (especially if you are an Irish fan).
We know its not Obama, but I think you get the point (especially if you are an Irish fan).
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Nike Craps On Rivalry Week, Extends Dominance Over Good Design
Today is a dark day for college football, no not because its Tim Tebow's last home game. Nike decided to ruin the nation's retinas with an display of bad design and tasteless marketing that makes me wonder if Satan is running the show. I have seen grumblings about an experimental Nike design featuring a spirograph-like design element floating around the web, but all accounts of the design seemed to make it seem like it had (thankfully) been shelved. Looks like Nike had us all fooled as Florida took the field in the above mentioned spirograph design during its game against Florida State, and successfully looked like the aborted love child of their retro uniforms. This has of course come with official jargon to try and rationalize the new Pro Combat design, but it doesn't take a genius to see these are just flat out ugly. The sad thing is that things could have been even worse! Perhaps some sanity caused Florida State to hold back on their own uniform disasters which are also part of the Pro Combat apocalypse.
Not content with ruining just one game, another set of bewildering designs were unvieled during the Miami-USF and Virginia Tech-Virginia games. These uniforms have multi-colored numbers, and in the case of Virginia Tech show us why gradients aren't seen very often.
You might be shaking your head right now, but wait, there is more! The Big 12 North is probably tired of getting passed over by the media, so Missouri has gone to great lengths to make you forget all about Florida by coming out in the ugliest Pro Combat uniform set and sticking it to common sense. I nearly confused them with Army's camo set, but these are much worse.
Shame on Nike, Miami, Florida, Virginia Tech, and Mizzou for turning a game into a marketing spectacle. My biggest fear is that the Oregon crew will see this as a challenge to their ugliest-uniform title and try to top it next year, and Cal (Nike uniforms) will come out with some version of the Pro Combat set that will force me gouge my eyes out.
Not content with ruining just one game, another set of bewildering designs were unvieled during the Miami-USF and Virginia Tech-Virginia games. These uniforms have multi-colored numbers, and in the case of Virginia Tech show us why gradients aren't seen very often.
You might be shaking your head right now, but wait, there is more! The Big 12 North is probably tired of getting passed over by the media, so Missouri has gone to great lengths to make you forget all about Florida by coming out in the ugliest Pro Combat uniform set and sticking it to common sense. I nearly confused them with Army's camo set, but these are much worse.
Shame on Nike, Miami, Florida, Virginia Tech, and Mizzou for turning a game into a marketing spectacle. My biggest fear is that the Oregon crew will see this as a challenge to their ugliest-uniform title and try to top it next year, and Cal (Nike uniforms) will come out with some version of the Pro Combat set that will force me gouge my eyes out.
Correction: God really, really hates Arsenal
Anyone that harbored any hope of enjoying watching the Arsenal hoist a trophy this year must now place all their faith in the Ewing Theory, a glimmer of hope that might've applied last year when it seemed that Van Persie often featured prominently in Arsenal's losses in the wrong way, with errant shots on gaping goals, but this year he has deserved all the praise coming his way, and I fear the season has been lost. We shall see. Of course there is always the transfer window, and Gooners are no doubt re-writing their wish lists as I write this.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Don't worry, Ireland, God hates Arsenal, too.
How do I know this? Because, in rapid succession, Van Persie; the collective Arsenal; and Kieran Gibbs; were all smitten by the vengeful hand of God that took the form of Giorgio Chiellini, Darren Bent, and Eliaquim Mangala (and, by extension, Konrad Plautz). This all took place in the span of a fortnight, which must be some sort of number that displeases God.
First off was the inexplicable injury suffered by Van Persie in a friendly against Italy.
Why in God's name do they even play these things? Because as often as people cite ManU's depth as one of the main reasons for their consistent dominance (i.e., footballers get hurt... a LOT), you'd think the powers that be would want to limit the number of meaningless opportunities for someone to rush off to the Balkans for some horse placenta (as an aside, as weird as this seems at first glance, it's quite brilliant in theory, since placentas are full of regenerative cells - don't believe me? - just ask Andrea Sooch!). In all seriousness, that was a really stupid and reckless tackle, as Chiellini basically hacked down on Van Persie's ankle, and I'm surprised Van Persie wasn't as indignant as Kuyt afterwards.
Then, just to prove how important Van Persie is to Arsenal's attack, God allowed Darren Bent to do them in, in the first game of the season that Arsenal's opposition has not conceded. This wasn't Boring, Boring Arsenal, but it was the sort of defeat that Gooners have come to expect over the last few years - the 1-0 defeat on the road to a team far inferior on paper, although in this case, the feeling of dread which grew as the game drew nearer was more logical, based on Sunderland's efforts this season against Liverpool and ManU.
Perhaps with the Old Testament God in mind, Emmanuel Eboue showed up to the pitch last night wearing his Blessed Be God Forever t-shirt. Despite this and Eboue's penchant for bad dives, bad tackles, and bad passing not being on display, God remained displeased with the Arsenal, and he spoke through Konrad Plautz, who, in his piety, allowed Eliaquim Mangala to remain on the pitch even after his second dangerous tackle of the day (on the excellent-as-always Alex Song). This oversight led to this fateful encounter between Mangala and Gibbs:
Photograph: Nick Potts/PA
Notice how the ball is nowhere near Gibbs' foot when Mangala comes charging into the area like a 15-year-old into his girlfriend's pants. Stupid. Almost as stupid as Wenger having anyone from the first-team out there at all while this almost meaningless game's embers faded. So, after Gibbs had stepped in so admirably to replace the ever-relevant Clichy, perhaps even outplaying his senior, God's retribution was swift and cruel as He felled the left-back with a broken metatarsal for three months.
It should be noted that Gallas and Arshavin were excruciated during the tie against Liege, as well, as God guided Arshavin's skull into Gallas' eye-socket (and, seconds later, a Vermaelen laser right into Arshavin's unwitting and already-bloodied head), and Gallas may indeed miss Sunday's crucial match against Chelsea, leaving Arsenal's defense, no longer whole, horribly exposed.
All this misery should come as no surprise, really, as Divinity's unforgiving treatment of the Arsenal and its fans started long ago, really, when its proud, noble, and beautiful heraldic crest
was laid to waste, utterly, by the current abomination that I am loathe to sully my pages with.
When this happened, many Gooners probably supplicated on bended knee, crying out "Why, God, why?!," and, indeed, I would pray to God in genuflection that He would smite this unholy thing from before mine eyes, if I thought He would hear me.
I know better, though, so instead, for today's benediction, let us listen to the Psalm of St. Victor, who, in the midst of his martyrdom, proclaimed that "the Lord was a rotten Bastard." Amen.
First off was the inexplicable injury suffered by Van Persie in a friendly against Italy.
Why in God's name do they even play these things? Because as often as people cite ManU's depth as one of the main reasons for their consistent dominance (i.e., footballers get hurt... a LOT), you'd think the powers that be would want to limit the number of meaningless opportunities for someone to rush off to the Balkans for some horse placenta (as an aside, as weird as this seems at first glance, it's quite brilliant in theory, since placentas are full of regenerative cells - don't believe me? - just ask Andrea Sooch!). In all seriousness, that was a really stupid and reckless tackle, as Chiellini basically hacked down on Van Persie's ankle, and I'm surprised Van Persie wasn't as indignant as Kuyt afterwards.
Then, just to prove how important Van Persie is to Arsenal's attack, God allowed Darren Bent to do them in, in the first game of the season that Arsenal's opposition has not conceded. This wasn't Boring, Boring Arsenal, but it was the sort of defeat that Gooners have come to expect over the last few years - the 1-0 defeat on the road to a team far inferior on paper, although in this case, the feeling of dread which grew as the game drew nearer was more logical, based on Sunderland's efforts this season against Liverpool and ManU.
Perhaps with the Old Testament God in mind, Emmanuel Eboue showed up to the pitch last night wearing his Blessed Be God Forever t-shirt. Despite this and Eboue's penchant for bad dives, bad tackles, and bad passing not being on display, God remained displeased with the Arsenal, and he spoke through Konrad Plautz, who, in his piety, allowed Eliaquim Mangala to remain on the pitch even after his second dangerous tackle of the day (on the excellent-as-always Alex Song). This oversight led to this fateful encounter between Mangala and Gibbs:
Notice how the ball is nowhere near Gibbs' foot when Mangala comes charging into the area like a 15-year-old into his girlfriend's pants. Stupid. Almost as stupid as Wenger having anyone from the first-team out there at all while this almost meaningless game's embers faded. So, after Gibbs had stepped in so admirably to replace the ever-relevant Clichy, perhaps even outplaying his senior, God's retribution was swift and cruel as He felled the left-back with a broken metatarsal for three months.
It should be noted that Gallas and Arshavin were excruciated during the tie against Liege, as well, as God guided Arshavin's skull into Gallas' eye-socket (and, seconds later, a Vermaelen laser right into Arshavin's unwitting and already-bloodied head), and Gallas may indeed miss Sunday's crucial match against Chelsea, leaving Arsenal's defense, no longer whole, horribly exposed.
All this misery should come as no surprise, really, as Divinity's unforgiving treatment of the Arsenal and its fans started long ago, really, when its proud, noble, and beautiful heraldic crest
was laid to waste, utterly, by the current abomination that I am loathe to sully my pages with.
When this happened, many Gooners probably supplicated on bended knee, crying out "Why, God, why?!," and, indeed, I would pray to God in genuflection that He would smite this unholy thing from before mine eyes, if I thought He would hear me.
I know better, though, so instead, for today's benediction, let us listen to the Psalm of St. Victor, who, in the midst of his martyrdom, proclaimed that "the Lord was a rotten Bastard." Amen.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Hating The French Just Got Easier
He is no Maradona, unless he has a post-game rant worthy of a two-month ban, but Thierry Henry did himself and the French no favors today. It wasn't as blatant as the Hand Of God, but it was certainly disappointing. Henry's handball and assist eliminated Ireland with a 2-1 aggregate win, and punches France's ticket to South Africa.
If you haven't seen the incident yet, here is a clip showing it from a number of angles. Its no Zapruder film, but I think you can see the offending gesture. (I'm sorry about the song. If you are a Family Guy fan it might be a bit amusing, but if not I'm sorry). Sorry, but other half of the duumvirate known as The SportsOptimator must interject here: this song is awesome! I'll always associate it with Full Metal Jacket, one of the classics, so the song is a bonus. De gustibus non disputandum est.
As a side story this game was also a dominated by a not-so-obvious dirty trick: France's horrific jerseys. One member of this blog likened the back design to a Baby Björn. It looks like Adidas is doing its best to make the French look like clowns; hopefully they save the headbutts for South Africa.
If you haven't seen the incident yet, here is a clip showing it from a number of angles. Its no Zapruder film, but I think you can see the offending gesture. (I'm sorry about the song. If you are a Family Guy fan it might be a bit amusing, but if not I'm sorry). Sorry, but other half of the duumvirate known as The SportsOptimator must interject here: this song is awesome! I'll always associate it with Full Metal Jacket, one of the classics, so the song is a bonus. De gustibus non disputandum est.
As a side story this game was also a dominated by a not-so-obvious dirty trick: France's horrific jerseys. One member of this blog likened the back design to a Baby Björn. It looks like Adidas is doing its best to make the French look like clowns; hopefully they save the headbutts for South Africa.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
van Persie and the Placenta
Wait, nevermind. We're good. Arsenal dodged a bullet with the van Persie injury, because apparently he's traveling to the Balkans for some placental-massage therapy. Whew. Totally relieved.
Top Ten Best Club Kits Of 2009-2010
The Sports Optimator is proud to present its Top Ten Best Kits of 2009-2010. Sadly this list was painfully difficult to populate as the world of football jerseys has imploded for some reason *ahem* Adidias *ahem* and designers are going blind all over the world. We sincerely hope that things will turn around next year and we will wind up having a drunken argument over the top 10 instead of the worst 10 and nobody will get hurt. Once again, these are in no particular order and there is absolutely no bias even though the Sports Optimator(s) are Arsenal and Manchester United fans.
Arsenal (All Three) - After going through all the candidates for worst jersey it was a great relief to find a team with great jerseys. Arsenal managed not just one, but three great jerseys. The lesson here being that simple can be great, no need for complex piping or baffling colors (Barcelona, I'm looking at you, or more accurately averting my gaze) to create an exceptional design. The collar on the away and third jerseys is also awesome, the death of the collar saddens me.
Manchester United (All Three & Keeper) - If you told me that Nike, the reigning king of design abortions (Oregon Football), would land two multi-jersey entries in our top ten I wouldn't have believed you. Obviously the NCAA football crew isn't working on their football designs because simplicity is getting them rave reviews. The simple "V" and use of only a few colors makes Manchester United's jersey look good, so good in fact that even the Keeper is getting in on it (Petr Cech is very jealous right now) with a set of tops that look great.
Hamburg SV (White) - Shockingly, Adidas managed not to mangle a design and land in our top 10. It seems that Adidas has managed to keep some whites simple, but if the stripes didn't die into nothing mid-bicep this jersey would be great. My only gripe is Adidas' questionable logo placement, why not do Adidas & Hamburg at left and right chest? Why is one at a chest and the other centered? Olympique Marseille's white is very similar and just barely lost to Hamburg SV.
Roma (White) - Another simple design gone horribly right. Roma sticks to their colors and uses stripes to punch up their whites, which tend to be fairly dull around the world, without making it into a train wreck.
AC Milan (Home Red/Black) - A design that never gets old; vertical stripes, white collar, and a good color scheme. The only strikes against it are the centered Adidas logo and the shoulder stripes that stop mid-bicep.
Manchester City (All Three) - The dark horse of the group, and even though this list in in no particular order these may just be our top pick. Another great example of simplicity triumphing over flash, especially the black away and sash element on the whites. Major kudos to Umbro here, they seem to churn out great simple designs (England's kits from 2006-2010) without being boring.
Internazionale (Home & Away) - Nike is running away with the best 10 title with Internazionale being their third. This was almost PSV Eindhoven or Atletico Madrid, but the colors and classic striping were just too much, and their whites look great as well very much like Roma's. Simple and classic, nothing crazy here just good design. This could have been Sunderland as well, but their away kit made me think twice about including any of their jerseys.
Urawa Reds (Home Red) - Urawa just barely lost out to Manchester City as our top dark horse. I fully expected a carnival of horrors from the J-League, but was pleasantly amazed (even though half of them made me gag) by the Urawa Reds. Another simple design, avoids odd piping and randomly terminating stripes.
Celtic (Home & Away) - Nike strikes again with one of the most unique kits out there. They retained Celtic's long standing use of horizontal stripes, and even downed a few handfuls of shrooms to come up with the "bumble bee" look that actually looks pretty good. We won't get into the plaid shorts that go with their white international kit, we'll save that for our much anticipated worst shorts list.
FC Copenhagen (White) - This won out over others mainly as an example of how to use your logo well. A company that will not be named *ahem* Puma *ahem* likes to put its logo in 40 different places on its kits in the event you don't know who makes them. Kappa seems to have taken that approach and done something good with it on the sleeves. Too many logos? Definitely. An actual design element. Yes, so its ok.
Also Recieving Votes :
Lyon (White) - Very similar to Roma's, but added humor because their away black-red gradient is so hideous.
Paris Saint-Germain (Blue) - Arsenal away-esque, simple, and another Nike! Nike football seems to be bizarro-NCAA, can we have them switch teams for the sake of the Pac-10?
Atletico Madrid / PSV Eindhoven - Just barely lost to FC Copenhagen, this is what happens when more than one person tries to make a Top 10 list. To be fair they are very similar to Internazionale in the vertical striping, so maybe there should have been a Thick Vertical Stripes That Look Great category.
Arsenal (All Three) - After going through all the candidates for worst jersey it was a great relief to find a team with great jerseys. Arsenal managed not just one, but three great jerseys. The lesson here being that simple can be great, no need for complex piping or baffling colors (Barcelona, I'm looking at you, or more accurately averting my gaze) to create an exceptional design. The collar on the away and third jerseys is also awesome, the death of the collar saddens me.
Manchester United (All Three & Keeper) - If you told me that Nike, the reigning king of design abortions (Oregon Football), would land two multi-jersey entries in our top ten I wouldn't have believed you. Obviously the NCAA football crew isn't working on their football designs because simplicity is getting them rave reviews. The simple "V" and use of only a few colors makes Manchester United's jersey look good, so good in fact that even the Keeper is getting in on it (Petr Cech is very jealous right now) with a set of tops that look great.
Hamburg SV (White) - Shockingly, Adidas managed not to mangle a design and land in our top 10. It seems that Adidas has managed to keep some whites simple, but if the stripes didn't die into nothing mid-bicep this jersey would be great. My only gripe is Adidas' questionable logo placement, why not do Adidas & Hamburg at left and right chest? Why is one at a chest and the other centered? Olympique Marseille's white is very similar and just barely lost to Hamburg SV.
Roma (White) - Another simple design gone horribly right. Roma sticks to their colors and uses stripes to punch up their whites, which tend to be fairly dull around the world, without making it into a train wreck.
AC Milan (Home Red/Black) - A design that never gets old; vertical stripes, white collar, and a good color scheme. The only strikes against it are the centered Adidas logo and the shoulder stripes that stop mid-bicep.
Manchester City (All Three) - The dark horse of the group, and even though this list in in no particular order these may just be our top pick. Another great example of simplicity triumphing over flash, especially the black away and sash element on the whites. Major kudos to Umbro here, they seem to churn out great simple designs (England's kits from 2006-2010) without being boring.
Internazionale (Home & Away) - Nike is running away with the best 10 title with Internazionale being their third. This was almost PSV Eindhoven or Atletico Madrid, but the colors and classic striping were just too much, and their whites look great as well very much like Roma's. Simple and classic, nothing crazy here just good design. This could have been Sunderland as well, but their away kit made me think twice about including any of their jerseys.
Urawa Reds (Home Red) - Urawa just barely lost out to Manchester City as our top dark horse. I fully expected a carnival of horrors from the J-League, but was pleasantly amazed (even though half of them made me gag) by the Urawa Reds. Another simple design, avoids odd piping and randomly terminating stripes.
Celtic (Home & Away) - Nike strikes again with one of the most unique kits out there. They retained Celtic's long standing use of horizontal stripes, and even downed a few handfuls of shrooms to come up with the "bumble bee" look that actually looks pretty good. We won't get into the plaid shorts that go with their white international kit, we'll save that for our much anticipated worst shorts list.
FC Copenhagen (White) - This won out over others mainly as an example of how to use your logo well. A company that will not be named *ahem* Puma *ahem* likes to put its logo in 40 different places on its kits in the event you don't know who makes them. Kappa seems to have taken that approach and done something good with it on the sleeves. Too many logos? Definitely. An actual design element. Yes, so its ok.
Also Recieving Votes :Lyon (White) - Very similar to Roma's, but added humor because their away black-red gradient is so hideous.
Paris Saint-Germain (Blue) - Arsenal away-esque, simple, and another Nike! Nike football seems to be bizarro-NCAA, can we have them switch teams for the sake of the Pac-10?
Atletico Madrid / PSV Eindhoven - Just barely lost to FC Copenhagen, this is what happens when more than one person tries to make a Top 10 list. To be fair they are very similar to Internazionale in the vertical striping, so maybe there should have been a Thick Vertical Stripes That Look Great category.
Weekly Flotsam and Jetsam
After a week in which England and Brasil played an incredibly boring, meaningless, dull, flat, Friendly in Dubai; Van Persie tore ligaments in another Int'l Friendly, rendering him unavailable for key games against Chelsea and Liverpool (does this even count as a key game anymore?); and Jay Cutlerthrew five picks against a shitty Niners team, I needed some distractions. As usual, the intertube did not disappoint.
First off, the Spanish region of Extramadura attempts to make the one-way a national pastime.
This is not necessarily sports-related, but since some of us make this a sport, I'm including it. How stupid do people think the kids in this region are? Were pamphlets really necessary?
Speaking of acid, this is the best baseball-related thing I've seen in a while. After Holliday took one in the nuts, and the NY All-Stars took the Fall Classic, I haven't been in much of a baseball mood, but the story of Doc Ellis' no hitter on a bunch of acid is from a better time, when men were men, there were no make-believe baseball teams like the Diamondbacks, Marlins, or Devil Rays (unless you count the Cubs), and the Atlanta Braves actually played in a geographical division that made sense.
By now this is old news, but in case you missed it, Elisabeth Lambert was caught on video in some crazy girl-on-girl action.
And, finally, it looks like Titans owner Bud Adams put some tips he picked up from the Flight of the Conchords to good use over the weekend.
First off, the Spanish region of Extramadura attempts to make the one-way a national pastime.
This is not necessarily sports-related, but since some of us make this a sport, I'm including it. How stupid do people think the kids in this region are? Were pamphlets really necessary?
Speaking of acid, this is the best baseball-related thing I've seen in a while. After Holliday took one in the nuts, and the NY All-Stars took the Fall Classic, I haven't been in much of a baseball mood, but the story of Doc Ellis' no hitter on a bunch of acid is from a better time, when men were men, there were no make-believe baseball teams like the Diamondbacks, Marlins, or Devil Rays (unless you count the Cubs), and the Atlanta Braves actually played in a geographical division that made sense.
By now this is old news, but in case you missed it, Elisabeth Lambert was caught on video in some crazy girl-on-girl action.
And, finally, it looks like Titans owner Bud Adams put some tips he picked up from the Flight of the Conchords to good use over the weekend.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Scum Of The Earth : Rival Colored Apparel Wearers
You might be saying "what?" to the headline, but I don't know what else to call it. They are the people who wear "fashion" apparel for their "favorite" team in colors of their rival(s). To be honest, I can't imagine a better to way to show your complete lack of allegiance to your supposed team.
For anyone who hasn't seen this plague in person, just wait a few weeks. You will no doubt see local idiots, and even celebrities, sporting one of the most popular marks of a non-fan; the red Yankee's hat. The fact that these are even made is proof that either there is no God, or the Devil exists, and quite possibly both. To don a red Yankee's hat is to be completely unaware that their bitter rivals are the Red Sox, add to this list red
Thursday, November 5, 2009
European Football Recap, Or, Carlton Cole is a Wanker
The Sports Optimator has been dragging its collective feet the past two weeks, for reasons unbeknownst to even them. To make up for lost time, it will attempt to cram old and random news in next to newish news, and still make it seem interesting.
I know you're excited. Though maybe not as much as this guy.
First up: Some Parisians, contrary to some stereotypes, are not quite as civilized as one might like. Football Weekly's Barry Glenndenning reports:
European football did not, in fact, shut down due to Swine Flu. The game between Marseille and Paris St. Germain was merely postponed. But, luckily for the fans, it was postponed late enough for them to be already at the ground...so they were still able to have their riot, and get canisters of tear gas chucked at them by the police...so their day's fun wasn't entirely ruined.
Everybody seemed to be well-armed for the affair. One fan had a crossbow, apparently, and the police look to be well-equipped with double-barrelled flare guns.
Seriously, though, PSG hooligans seem to be some of the worst of their kind, which is certainly saying something. Just last year one was killed by an off-duty police officer after a hate mob had surrounded a Jewish fan of Hapoel Tel Aviv.
While we're on the subject of the letter 'P,' Plovdiv, Bulgaria, has a sweet crest, is host to economic and cultural events such as the International Fair Plovdiv, the international theatrical festival "A Scene on a Crossroad", the TV festival "The Golden Chest" - not to be confused with Dimitar Berbatov's golden chest - and the bi-annual Plovdiv derby. How quaint.
Moving on. The fortunes of Liverpool have oscillated wildly over the past few weeks, as everybody surely knows by now. What you may not know, however, is that the fortunes of the Sunderland beachball have ended up in the same spot as Liverpool's Champions League hopes: in the toilet.
Elsewhere, Real Madrid's 2-0 victory over Getafe is being heralded as the best performance by ten men since Debbie Does Dallas.
While we're on the subject of porno, The Sports Optimator is proud to link to One of the Greatest Websites Ever: SPORNO. We also humbly submit two of our own submissions to the effort, although the second one is not Sporno at all. It's just wrong. The Google image bin is a fascinating place, indeed.
I know you're excited. Though maybe not as much as this guy.
First up: Some Parisians, contrary to some stereotypes, are not quite as civilized as one might like. Football Weekly's Barry Glenndenning reports:
European football did not, in fact, shut down due to Swine Flu. The game between Marseille and Paris St. Germain was merely postponed. But, luckily for the fans, it was postponed late enough for them to be already at the ground...so they were still able to have their riot, and get canisters of tear gas chucked at them by the police...so their day's fun wasn't entirely ruined.
Everybody seemed to be well-armed for the affair. One fan had a crossbow, apparently, and the police look to be well-equipped with double-barrelled flare guns.
Seriously, though, PSG hooligans seem to be some of the worst of their kind, which is certainly saying something. Just last year one was killed by an off-duty police officer after a hate mob had surrounded a Jewish fan of Hapoel Tel Aviv.
While we're on the subject of the letter 'P,' Plovdiv, Bulgaria, has a sweet crest, is host to economic and cultural events such as the International Fair Plovdiv, the international theatrical festival "A Scene on a Crossroad", the TV festival "The Golden Chest" - not to be confused with Dimitar Berbatov's golden chest - and the bi-annual Plovdiv derby. How quaint.
Moving on. The fortunes of Liverpool have oscillated wildly over the past few weeks, as everybody surely knows by now. What you may not know, however, is that the fortunes of the Sunderland beachball have ended up in the same spot as Liverpool's Champions League hopes: in the toilet.
Arsenal's fortunes, on the other hand, seem to be on the upswing. After two straight second-half letdowns against weaker sides (although it should be said that Carlton Cole went down for that penalty faster than Chloë Sevigny in Brown Bunny), the Gunners had their way with Liverpool (and Voronin, who, in addition to being rubbish, has the best/worst cock-rock haircut this side of Europe, and I mean the band, not the continent... Voronin... was he really the leading goal-scorer at Bayer Leverkusen? The Bundesliga must be in worse shape than I thought), Spurs, and, in particularly fine fashion, AZ Alkmaar. Eduardo should be singled out for his gorgeous back-heel to Arshavin in the run-up to the final goal, but it was Arshavin who shone brightest last night. As Wenger said in his typical Frenglish after the game, "He gave the ball every time the fraction of the second you wanted him to give it, and that is top quality." Hear hear. Going back to the Spurs tie and their dismal defending (because as exciting as Cesc's solo goal was, it was perhaps not "one of the greatest goals in Premier League history"), the Guardian's Barry Glendenning points out that "no amount of Croatian lesbian-lookalikes is going to stop you shipping goals"). He has a point. Well, two good points, actually.
While we're on the subject of porno, The Sports Optimator is proud to link to One of the Greatest Websites Ever: SPORNO. We also humbly submit two of our own submissions to the effort, although the second one is not Sporno at all. It's just wrong. The Google image bin is a fascinating place, indeed.
Yankees Buy World Series Title, Country Yawns
Well the Yankees finally bought themselves a World Series title. I shouldn't say the country yawns, there is the state of New York and all the Yankee front runners out there that see this as a great opportunity to be more annoying. Just wait, over the next few weeks all those people you saw randomly wearing Phillies gear the past year will switch to Yankee's hats and shirts.
I know their fans will see it differently, but this is a perfect example of whats wrong with baseball today. MLB survived the steroids era and appears to be healthy again, but the state of the game for fans is on life support. I know the Yankees may not have literally bought the title, but their insane spending basically guarantees them the best chance at winning.
I normally watch the World Series all the way through, but I completely checked out after game four. Mostly I was sick of watching the Yankees, but for the most part I just couldn't listen to Joe Buck and Tim McCarver gush about the Yankees anymore. I'm somewhat sad I didn't watch game six, I'm sure McCarver had some real gems that would have kept me laughing for weeks.
I know their fans will see it differently, but this is a perfect example of whats wrong with baseball today. MLB survived the steroids era and appears to be healthy again, but the state of the game for fans is on life support. I know the Yankees may not have literally bought the title, but their insane spending basically guarantees them the best chance at winning.
I normally watch the World Series all the way through, but I completely checked out after game four. Mostly I was sick of watching the Yankees, but for the most part I just couldn't listen to Joe Buck and Tim McCarver gush about the Yankees anymore. I'm somewhat sad I didn't watch game six, I'm sure McCarver had some real gems that would have kept me laughing for weeks.
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