Fantasy Baseball, 140 Games Down

The season is almost over, and part of me can't wait. I have a feeling Andrew has basically locked it up, for his second straight win, and if I'm lucky I could finish second. Andrew has been blessed by the Baseball Gods, who struck down the previous #1 team. Josh Johnson, one of his many great pitchers, is done for the season and opens up a number of categories for Andrew and I.

My team is basically in limbo. I'm 3 back of 2nd, and 7.5 back of first. My guys are just chugging along, this status update sums up my whole season, "Barry Zito excellent in seventh straight loss."

Oh, so I can expect three more?

Andrew's team can do no wrong at this point. I do find it funny that since he refused to trade Adam Wainwright to me the guy has been less than stellar. Since August 16th the guy is 1-5 and his ERA has "soared" from 2.06 to 2.50, guess I dodged a bullet there. I can't see Andrew losing this unless something horrible happens to his entire team, like if the NL just fell into the ocean.

Current Status
Bert - Johnson?
Andrew - If you will it, it is no dream.

Nike Drops A Deuce, Virginia Tech Ruins 2010-11

I think I threw up in my mouth a little last night, but not just because Virginia Tech failed to save college football (more on this later). Boise State and Virginia Tech trotted out wearing Nike's newest wave of Pro Combat uniforms, and they were worse than I could have imagined. The geniuses at Nike have ramped up their campaign to turn NCAA football uniforms into a very very unfunny joke.

I'm not going to go over the new wave of garbage, since I may end up grinding my teeth into dust. If you are interested in reviewing them one of my favorite blogs (Uni Watch, yes, I get it) did a good piece on them for ESPN. Read it here.

The Tron Pumpkins failed to beat the Clowns, sadly the joke is on us.

The uniforms from last night made me sick. Nike is using the tradition and interest in college football to spring a tasteless marketing campaign. Their justifications for the designs are a joke, I can't imagine many people are excited about their team looking like they were just in a coal mine (West Virginia) or part of the cast of Tron (Virginia Tech). I'm also not sure why Halloween is in this year, there are three teams (Miami, Virginia Tech, and Oregon State) that look like they should be trick-or-treating. I'm actually curious if the Great Pumpkin is going to run out with Miami this year.

Ok, enough of Nike. My hatred for their Pro Combat stuff is well documented and goes back to last year. I was upset last night, and even more so this morning, when Virginia Tech failed to restore some sanity to the world of college football. Just to be clear, I don't have anything against Boise State. They have a great coach and a very good QB, I'd trade Chris Peterson for Jeff Tedford and Kellen Moore for Kevin Riley any day. Actually, I'd trade a ham sandwich for Kevin Riley, but that's another story. My concern is that a very good team that plays in a garbage conference is now positioned to coast through the season and walk into the BCS title game.

I knew it would happen, but when I looked at the rankings this morning I was shocked to see that eight morons gave Boise State a #1 vote in the AP poll. Only four people voted Ohio State #1, luckily forty seven stuck to Alabama. My last hope is Oregon State, who travels to the blue turf, but after they choked against TCU (great game by the way) I doubt they will be able to pull it off. Boise State will face such juggernauts as Idaho, New Mexico State, Louisiana Tech, and San Jose State in conference play while Ohio State will have to play Miami, Wisconsin, Penn State, Iowa, and Michigan. I'm calling it right now, if Boise State plays in the title game 2010-11 will be a sham of a season. God forbid they win, if they do the entire BCS system will implode into an absolute mockery of reason.

If Oregon State loses everything will depend on the computer rankings. It was nice to see the coaches weren't drinking to blue Kool-Aid to start the season, but they voted Boise State up to #3 after last night. I pray the computers can take into account the pitiful conference and weak schedule when BCS Rankings time rolls around. I don't like the current BCS system, I think we need a +1 playoff, but letting in a team based on warm feelings and "fairness" is not the way to fix it.

Fantasy Baseball, Please End The Misery

My teeth hurt. I'm so over this season, its not funny anymore... lets get this over with.

My team, in conjunction with the Baseball Gods, is completely imploding. The Gods have struck me down without mercy, and thanks to my own stupidity its going to get worse. Jeremy Hellickson was promoted, went 3-0 with a 2.57ERA, and was promptly send down to the minors. Thanks alot Baseball Gods, at least you didn't help me win the Strasburg Lottery (TJ's and done for this and next season). It also turns out that taking a "Fuck This" managerial strategy isn't good, I missed the roster warning on my most unpalatable DL citizens (Rod Barajas and Jeff "I Shit The Bed" Niemann) and now that they are off the DL they are back on my roster. I'm going to jump out a window now.

Thanks for being awesome, now pack your bags.

Andrew continues to be the luckiest SOB on the planet. I knew Joey Votto would be good, I know he did as well, but nobody would have said that he would challenge Pujols for best overall. The two are duking it out for the Triple Crown, Votto is enjoying the offensive explosion in Cincy, and I wish I hadn't backed off him because he missed time for depression, or vertigo, or whatever crap I was hit with last year. Kelly Johnson continues to hammer the ball, defying all reason, so at this rate Andrew might crap a bar of gold

Current Status
Bert - Fuck the tournament.
Andrew - If you will it, it is no dream.

Bundesliga : Stock Report, Week 2

This is going to be a short report, I was only able to watch two Bundesliga games this week (Schalke 04-Hannover 96, and Stuttgart-Dortmund), only one of them with a team in the running.

Side note : I just flat out do not understand the German trend of having the name of the team on the back of the jersey. So many teams have the team name across the back where the player's name normally goes, and the players name under the number. I'm less annoyed when the player name is up top and the team name is down below, but I still don't understand the need for the team name.

Borussia Dortmund : UP. One of the games I was able to watch this week, won 3-1. Played well with the help of a nutty OG that started as a cross and deflected off Khalid Boulahrouz.

Werder Bremen : NO CHANGE. Beat FC Cologne 4-2 after getting stomped on by TSG Hoffenheim last week. I wish I could have watched this game since Marko Marin started, good to see them bounce back after a humiliating loss.

Bayer Leverkusen : DOWN. I may need to add Borussia Monchelgladbach after this week. Leverkusen was crushed by Monchengladbach 6-3, which is never a good thing. It might be better for Leverkusen that I didn't watch this game, but still, 6 goals is pretty bad.

Kaisersluatern : UP. Kaiserslautern is top of the league, and not just because of the alphabet. They beat FC Cologne in week 1, apparently not a difficult task, but they followed it up by knocking off Bundesliga juggernaut Bayern Munich 2-0 at home. I wish I had been able to watch this game, the highlights were pretty impressive. Kaisersluatern's first goal (Ilo Ilcevic) was awesome.

There was a Youtube video of Kaiserslautern's goals but the Bundesliga has pulled them.

VfL Wolfsburg : DOWN. Lose 3-4 to Mainz, oh and what a loss it was. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but Wolfsburg was up 3-0 at one point and managed to lose this game. Not a good sign.

Eintracht Frankfurt : NO CHANGE. Lost 1-3 to Hamburg SV. They led the game 1-0 and had a complete meltdown at the 60' mark when Hamburg drew even, eventually allowing two goals in a span of 7 minutes to close out the game.

Top Ten Best Club Kits Of 2010-2011

This was disturbingly difficult. There are so few good kits this year, it was basically impossible to narrow it down to 10 different teams. The designs being shat out by all involved are so awful that the best designs were pretty no frills. Sadly, the vast majority of the "Best" involve vertical red stripes which is very disappointing.

ARSENAL (Home) : These aren't really in any order, but Arsenal is definitely #1. The Gunners return to a classic red body with white sleeves, very clean and simple. Well done on Nike's part, sadly a rarity this year, too bad their away kit has the yellow-maroon color scheme.


PSV EINDHOVEN (Home) : Extremely close to their 09/10 kit with one huge change; the rear continues the the vertical striping. Last year they had solid red backs, solid backs on patterned kits is one of my biggest pet peeves (see Werder Bremen in our 10 Worst post) and they got rid of that for the 10/11 version. Simple, clean, very nice.


MANCHESTER CITY (All Three) : This is lame, I know, they are pretty much the same as last year. That is how bad the crop of kits is this year, all it takes is a solid jersey with collar accents to make our Top 10. Also, to be fair, their third kit is the same as last year. So Umbro strikes gold by doing nothing, hopefully Nike/Adidas are reading this...

RANGERS (Home) : Another simple throwback inspired jersey. Not much to say here, but I do think they get points for having a collar. It makes me sad the the collar has become an endangered design element, so its nice to see it... even if its from 1970.

RANGERS (Away) : Yes, this is how hard it was to find 10 great jerseys. Vertical red stripes, get used to it.

CELTIC (Home) : I thought it would be nice if Celtic were right next to Rangers. They have ditched the bumble bee look for their classic green and white, and I like it.
AC MILAN (Home) : Ok, try not to fall asleep here because the vertical red stripes continue their assault on our Top 10. Adidas manages not to completely mangle this one, bonus for the new sponsor logo as well. I know its out of their control, but the rectangle of black with the sponsor inside it looked horrible. Tangent : I hate the way the rectangle + sponsor looks on kits. Just hate it. It looks like someone just slapped it on, look at Bayern Munich's new home kit. I don't even think the rectangle is the same white as their stripes.
SUNDERLAND (Home) : Simple, nothing crazy here. I don't know why, but vertical red stripes seems to be the way to go. I don't know why nobody out there rocks a blue or green. The only non-red vertical stripes I can think of is Juventus and Newcastle, and Puma butchered Newcastle, not to mention the sadness of a non-Newcastle Brown Ale sponsored jersey. How could you kill the greatest Club-Sponsor pairing ever?!

OLYMPIQUE LYON (Home) : Another white kit, but I like the old school sash element. I wish the sponsor logo didn't cut it in half, but with the way things work we are lucky that the sponsors don't pick the 25 man roster.
ATHLETICO BILBAO (Home) : Yes, they look like an American flag. I don't care, they look good. Nice to see Umbro nailing the simple and clean designs, I know Nike owns them so I don't understand how the two can be so different on that front.

Top Ten Worst Club Kits Of 2010-2011

It is with much sadness that we make this list, mainly because this has to be the worst year for kits ever. It was shockingly difficult to cut this list down to 10, it could have easily been 100. I'm not joking at all, 100. Adidas alone could field 50 horrible kits, we would really like to know whats going on at Adidas HQ. Only one of them made it on this list, only because there were more questionable design decisions out there, but Nike has started a trend of jagged/blurry designs that confuses us. Maybe they were bored.

WERDER BREMEN (Home & Away) : So bad they could be two different entries, but lets save some space here. There is absolutely nothing I like about these, maybe their standard green, but that is about it. I have said this before, but it looks like Nike took Slovenia's World Cup Charlie Brown look and said "How can we make this worse?", and they nailed it. These jerseys hit on everything I hate; random jags, two shades of the same color, back panel doesn't match the front, shit font that makes the Netherlands' electrical tape look good. I'm half convinced Mesut Özil took one look at these and said "Fuck this, send me to Real Madrid!"or whatever the equivalent is in German.

Side Note : Go to Google and type in "Slovenia Jersey" but don't hit enter yet, the #2 and #4 search suggestions contain "Charlie Brown." Nike, you guys rock.

TOTTENHAM (Home) : Puma follows up the deuce they dropped in 09/10 with something equally horrible. This makes the Spurs look like a bunch of sailor boys, just a warning, don't look up "sailor boy" on Google images. Maybe Puma was inspired by Japanese school girls.


BORDEAUX (All) : Puma strikes again, this time its tripled. Bordeaux really pioneered the Sailor look last year, and its back with a vengeance. Just to make things worse, Puma threw in a purple and pink kit. I'm also staring to notice, maybe its a Spanish/German/French thing, but all of the crappiest kits get trotted out on girls. Either that or a player with no shirt flanked by girls wearing the kit, although Mainz's kit isn't all that bad. I imagine that players are so humiliated by these kits they refuse to model them.

I like the one in the middle, the girl, not the kit.

OLYMPIC LYON (Away & Third) : These two look like they were made in some ludicrous Project Runway challenge. Maybe they didn't want to be outdone by Bordeaux, or maybe the strategy is to blind opponents. It saddens me a bit because their home whites actually look pretty good, apparently they only had enough good design juice for one kit.
AJAX (Away) : On the surface these look harmless, but they land on this list for sporting the most idiotic jersey gimmick I can imagine. What is it you ask? These jerseys GLOW IN THE FUCKING DARK. When would this be used? Do they play games in pitch darkness in the Eredivisie? Is Ajax's fan base made up of ravers and potheads... oh, wait, Ajax is in Amsterdam. Well, I still think these are stupid, add in the Baby Bjorn pattern and these give me a headache.

CELTIC (Away) : Really? Really?! I demand to know who thought this was a good idea.

CHIVAS & CHIVAS USA (Home) : A rare cross-border collaboration between the Primera Division and the MLS. These both look like they were made with parts of an American flag used in random patterns. Bonus points here for some Adidas-Reebok teamwork.

TSG HOFFENHEIM (All) : I'm really hammering Puma, and they deserve it. We get the sailor boy, boomerang accents from last year, and the odd pattern popular with the African teams in the World Cup. Puma must really be fighting with Adidas for the Bundesliga's ugly dominance.


BARCELONA (Away) : I don't get this at all. Last year it was salmon, now foam green. Maybe they are going for a nurse/doctor scrubs look. Suddenly white isn't good enough, at least their 08/09 yellow kit matched their colors and looked decent.


VFL WOLFSBURG (Home & Away) : These are horrible and, of course, by Adidas. I love vertical stripes, but not with dark green and black. The terminating shoulder stripes, the odd expanse between them, these have been tormenting me for years now. I really like the away kit because the green section pushes the Adidas and Wolfsburg logo way up high, and you can't see very well but there are these tiny gray marks all around the chest that look like a giant fingerprint.

Bundesliga : Stock Report, Week 1

Well the first weekend of the Bundesliga has passed, and my plan has partially backfired. I thought all of the games would be on ESPN3, but it looks like only one game a week will be available and if I'm lucky one will be on cable when I'm watching EPL games. This blows, but I'll do my best to catch as much as possible.

Werder Bremen : DOWN. I was not impressed at all by Werder Bremen's 4-1 beating at the hands of TSG Hoffenheim. They were rescued from complete disgust by extenuating circumstances, and I hope they don't play like this every week. Bremen lost their best player (Mesut Özil) to Real Madrid, and they played in a Champions League game a few days ago. They looked very tired and once TSG went up 2-1 they looked like they completely checked out. I wasn't impressed by anything they did, they have some work to do. Also, hideous kits, I found myself looking away in disgust a number of times.

These are so ugly, it was really hard to watch.

Borussia Dortmund : NO CHANGE. I got lucky and Dortmund played Leverkusen today. I was able to watch while Man United gave me heartburn at Craven Cottage, and I was pleasantly surprised. Dortmund lost 2-0, but they played an attacking style of football I didn't think existed outside of Bayern Munich, I'm already seeing the Bundesliga in a different light.

Bayer Leverkusen : UP. Went up a little by beating Dortmund, but I mostly enjoyed their attacking style. They could have been better with the ball, EPL teams have spoiled me, but they weren't the plodding defense first team I expected. I still feel queasy at the idea of following a team with Michael Ballack, especially one with a Chelsea-esque blue kit.

VfL Wolfsburg : NO CHANGE. Lost to Bayern Munich in a close game, didn't get to watch this one.

Eintracht Frankfurt : NO CHANGE. Lost 2-1 to Hannover 96 and their freakishly horrible kits, didn't get to watch this game. No harm in losing, unless they do it every week.

Kaisersluatern : UP. Beat FC Cologne 3-1, good sign for a recently promoted team. I didn't get to watch this game so I can't really draw any conclusions. Just nice to see they are moving in the right direction.