God To Liverpool : "Blow Me, Fuckface!"

It wasn't actually God that said that, but Tom Hicks Jr. certainly did. I'm tempted to say the events that have transpired over the past few days are the result of karma, but lets be honest, Liverpool has been on the wrong end of just about everything this year. It would be easy to say that Liverpool has just been the victim of bad luck, which it has, but I'd like trace everything back to the sale of Xabi Alonso.

I doubt this is new to anyone that follows football, but popular opinion holds that Alonso was the piece of the puzzle that made Liverpool so dangerous at times. I know it’s hard to say that making around £20,000,000 is a bad move, but the sale of Alonso is starting to make him look like Liverpool's Babe Ruth for the 2009-10 season. If you don't think Alonso was that important, watch a Liverpool game and try to say something positive about Steven Gerrard. I dare you. The man is a corpse in midfield, not to mention his injury woes (I'll get to that soon), and by all accounts his efforts to fill Alonso's role is killing his season. I've heard, and seen during games, that Gerrard has to hang back on defense and its turning him into a ghost.

Missing : One team captain, if found please return to Anfield.

So if having Gerrard vanish isn't bad enough the injury bug has absolutely killed Liverpool this season. Good thing they still have their best players healthy as they loan out (Bouzanis and Martin) and jettison players (Dossena and Voronin) to pay the bills. What’s that you say? Oh yes, God strikes again as Gerrard (Minor injury, "fortnight"), Yossi Benayoun (Broken rib, 4 Weeks), and worst of all (yet not unexpected) Fernando Torres (Torn knee cartilage / surgery, 6 weeks) all go down in the same game. That game? An FA Cup loss to Championship side Reading at Anfield, a nice kick in the shorts.

They make such a cute couple, a 4 week honeymoon on the bench sounds nice.

If all of that wasn’t enough, it gets worse. After vehemently denying that Torres would be sold, Benitez has recently announced that if Liverpool (7^th, 5 points back of 4^th) fails to qualify for the Champions League they may be forced to sell Torres. The team has failed to live up to its “Big 4” status, and people are calling for Benitez’s head, but apparently his recently signed contract extension (through 2014) would cost Liverpool tens of millions to sack him. So it seems things are not going well Merseyside, and I’m half expecting Liverpool to be hit by an asteroid or sign Sol Campbell. Just think, it could be worse, they could be £700,000,000 in debt… oh wait, that’s my team.