Arsenal - Ipswich Town Highlights

BENDTNER!!!!!!!

When he scores goals like these, you can see why he's so quick to trumpet his own skills.  That was quite a nice goal.  He scored a really nice arcing goal against Man City in the first half, too, that was similar to this one.  Nice to also see Arshavin with a nice assist, after his recent run of fairly horrible form.  On to Wembley.

http://soccermaniax.com/2011/01/arsenal-vs-ipswich-town-3-0-highlights-carling-cup/

Bundesliga : First Report Of 2011

I feel like its been a year since I last updated my search for a team, but there is still a little less than half a season left. I can't tell if I managed to start this at the right time, with Bayern Munich struggling, so the standings may be deceptive over the long term. I'm loving Bayern's problems, whats that word? Oh yes, schadenfreude.

Borussia Dortmund : UP. Way up, Dortmund has been on fire. There are still alot of games to play, but they currently sit 13 points clear at the top of the Bundesliga. They have two 8 goal scorers in Shinji Kagawa and Lucas Barrios, both guys I have come to enjoy, and have posted a whopping goal differential of 31. To put that last stat into context, the 2nd place team (Hannover 96) has a differential of 0, and the next highest is Bayern Munich at 15. Dortmund has shut out their opponent in half of their games (9), which seems to be a good way to win.

Bayer Leverkusen : UP. Mostly move up since so many teams moved down. They are currently in a log jam for third, have a positive goal differential, and haven't been playing Michael Ballack. Nothing wrong there.

Eintracht Frankfurt : UP. I have to admire their spirit. They have been playing fairly well, have probably settled into their final position somewhere in the middle of the table, and have a 30 year old Greek guy doing their goal scoring. Theofanis Gekas is second in the league with 14 goals, and is basically doing all of Frankfurt's scoring since second on the team has 2 goals.

Kaisersluatern : DOWN. Just got hammered by Bayern Munich 5-1. That 2-1 victory at the start of the season doesn't look so impressive anymore. Kaiserslautern has settled into the middle of the table with a sad 6-4-9 record. They should stay up barring a massive collapse, but they probably won't challenge for the title.

Werder Bremen : DOWN. How do I put this. This team sucks. I have Werder has a long history of being a good team, but this season is one they would probably like to forget. 5th from the bottom, 6-4-9 record, -14 goal differential, and some of the ugliest uniforms in the world. Marko Marin has failed to impress me with his two goals, at least they have someone in the Top 10 for goal scoring. I need more.

VfL Wolfsburg : ELIMINATED. I haven't eliminated them based on how they are playing (crap), or because their best player (Edin Dzeko) was just sold to Manchester City, its because of how the club is run. I heard that VfL Wolfsburg, which is owned by Volkswagon, is basically used as a way to entertain the people of Wolfsburg who are mostly VW employees. This seems to make alot of sense, and on the surface doesn't seem like an issue, but they tend to piss money away on this team. Part of the Dzeko saga was VW not wanting to upset its workers/fans by selling off their best player. On top of that, they have the ugliest jerseys. I can barely look at pictures let alone a game.

Yeah, this doesn't help.

2010-2011 College Football Wrap-Up

One of the weirdest, and somehow unsatisfying, seasons of college football has finally come to a close. With the NFL regular season over, only seven playoff games left, and roughly eight months before pitchers and catchers report, this is the saddest time of the year. I know there will still be Premier and Champions League games to watch, and I can sporadically check on the NBA (You hear that LeBron James went to Miami?!), but it just can’t fill the void.

I think the void is especially pronounced this year because something was missing from college football, something I can’t quite define. Maybe its because a number of schools and players shrugged off “serious” NCAA violations, or maybe its because a number of big name programs imploded, but its probably the fact that this season was stupefyingly dull. I think the everlasting stupidity of the media got me more riled up than any game, not that this surprised me. So since I enjoy getting angry, lets go over this past season and pray to God/Allah/Jebus/Anyone that next year is better.

Conference Realignment : The Big 10 has twelve teams now, and the Big 12 has ten teams, as if having an eleven team Big 10 wasn’t confusing enough. This had to be the craziest year for expansion/contraction ever, and it was all based on revenue. Nebraska really got everything started in the summer by jumping to the Big 10 and all hell broke lose. Once the Big 12 was down to eleven and looked vulnerable everyone reached out to grab the big prize; Texas. Well, more accurately the Texas TV revenue and all the cash attached to the program. The Pac-10 even invited Texas to join in an attempt to make an insane super conference, but instead supplied safe harbor to Colorado and Utah. So now we have the Pac-12, incorrectly named Big 10 and Big 12, and then things got even worse. The Mountain West lost Utah, so they took the opportunity to pillage the WAC and bring in Boise State, Hawaii, and Fresno State. Then BYU got it into their heads that they should be like Notre Dame and declared themselves independent, but wait, it gets better! In an attempt to one-up the Pac-10’s geographically confused attempt to absorb the Big 12 South the Big East took a look at its embarrassing eight team conference and decided to invite TCU. So ten is now twelve, twelve is now ten, and Forth Worth TX is in the east. Cash grabs are great, aren’t they?

>>> All this geographical ignorance/delusion makes me angry. That’s all I can say.

Big Programs Flop : This season was great for the little guys, not just because the media was in a hurry to crown them champions. I can’t remember so many big programs falling flat on their faces in one season, especially when expectations were high. The biggest culprit was Texas who failed to win six games, much to my delight, and found themselves without a bowl game. Everyone loved Texas after their loss to Alabama last year, and people were drawing up plans for the Garret Gilbert statue in Austin. Texas went 5-7, finished dead last in the Big 12 South, and found itself getting crushed in games it should have won. Florida played like crap on offense, finished 7-5 and lost Urban Meyer to a re-retirement. Michigan shot itself in the foot by thinking they were ready to dominate, fans and boosters did their best to undermine Rich Rodriguez once their defense started to implode, and a 7-5 season wrapped up with a 52-14 absolute ass kicking by Miss State in the Gator Bowl. Other notable failures include Georgia (6-6, bowl loss to UCF), and Penn State (7-5, bowl loss to Florida).

Coaching Carousel : Coaches had it rough this season as a number of them moved around, some with hilarious results. Rich Rodriguez was fired at Michigan, ending an uncomfortable union that featured Josh Groban, followed by in intense search that eventually found Brady Hoke. No, I didn’t know who he was until I Googled him either. Texas’ problem got worse when coach-in-waiting Will Muschamp got tired of waiting and took the Florida job. Guys coaching schools named Miami (Florida and Ohio, in a rare double) found themselves without a job as Miami sent Randy Shannon packing after a loss to USF, and Miami (OH)’s Mike Haywood was fired from his new job at Pitt before he even started after being arrest on a felony domestic violence charge. Guess who won’t be able to find a job anytime soon?

Sadly the touching lyrics of Josh couldn't reach Michigan's AD

Sweeping Violations Under The Rug : I’m still really confused about this, like really really confused. Ever since the Reggie Bush saga colleges all across the country have been on pins and needles; well, everyone but Auburn and Ohio State. They must know something that everyone else doesn’t, since they managed to flaunt NCAA rules and walk away with a mere finger wagging. Auburn’s QB, and Heisman winner, Cam Newton was mired in a pay-for-play scandal where his father solicited money to sign is son. This is an NCAA violation, a serious one, even though Cam “knew nothing” about what his father was doing. Auburn made the meaningless gesture of suspending Newton, who was rapidly reinstated by the NCAA, won the SEC title, won the Heisman in a landslide, then won the National Title. Ohio State followed suit with their own problems. A number of players, including QB Terrelle Pryor, received improper benefits and sold team awards. All of this came out before their Sugar Bowl showdown with Arkansas, and they should have been suspended. Ohio State acted quickly and suspended the players for five games... starting next year. The NCAA allowed this, and the suspended players “promised” not to enter the NFL draft early in order to play in the Sugar Bowl. How the NCAA allowed any of this is beyond me, much like conference realignment this was all clearly about money. I’m sure the NCAA didn’t want to enforce its rules if it would effect the BCS Bowls - that would require some integrity.

>> Nodding. But have you considered what would’ve happened to your (and my) sports world if Newton had actually been suspended for the whole season? Auburn would’ve certainly lost any number of those close games they played towards the end of the season (‘Bama, especially), TCU would’ve snuck into the title game, your head would’ve exploded in an apoplectic fit, and Oregon would’ve most likely trounced them as I nodded gleefully, saying with a self-satisfied and knowing smirk that “See, the system totally works!” Even though, of course, it continues to be a total farce.

The NCAA can't wait to get that back...

Morons Vote TCU #1 : I think I may have breathed fire when I saw this the other day, but I really should have seen it coming. Auburn handily took most of the AP and USA Today votes, but a few idiots decided that TCU was #1 in the final season poll. The only thing keeping my head from exploding is that these few voters are probably upset with Auburn (see above) and said “Hell, I know Auburn went 14-0, beat #2 Oregon, and won the SEC, but I’m going to be controversial and vote for TCU!”

>> The irony of Oregon finishing lower than the year they got hosed out of the title game in ‘01 (#2 in the final poll - duh) doesn’t amuse me in the least, in fact it makes me want to swear off college football for the 13th consecutive season. OK, so, if the title game is a legitimate contest between the nation’s two best teams, and one of them loses by three points on a fluke running play and a botched interception call, suddenly they’re only the third best team in the nation? WTF?!!! I hate college football, and I hate that it sucks me in every. single. season.

Bowl Season Recap (Hindsight Is A Bitch)

Best - BCS Title Game. I don’t care that they both looked a little off in the first quarter, this game came down to the wire. I also don’t care that they didn’t finish 77-73 like everyone wanted, both teams played hard and Auburn deserved to win. They outplayed Oregon and their defense came up big time.

>> I will grudgingly admit that Auburn played well, but I won’t go so far as to say that they deserved to win. Sour grapes or astute analysis? You be the judge. But as far as the game goes, this was our take on it immediately after (I’m including it because I think Bert nailed it - you won’t see this kind of analysis on TV, folks):

AS: ~ Pounding my head into a wall repeatedly~

BA: It wasn't that bad, you guys just couldn't tackle.

AS: C'mon, it was a cruel game of inches. There was cliff harris' non-interception (which I still think was an interception), Tunei and TheMichael being stopped short of the goal after that trick punt play and amazing catch by Tunei... the safety where TheMichael almost got out of the end zone, but ended up putting the ball on the last inch of chalk... every little thing went against the Ducks.

BA: Yeah, because they were smaller and couldn't block. Auburn effectively controlled the tempo, and you guys just lost it.

AS: This conversation is over!

BA: Thomas made some really bad reads on the option.

AS: Yeah, no shit. Horrible reads, and some bad passes in the red zone.

BA: Its like he didn't want to run, so he always handed it off.

AS: And then when he should've handed it to TheMichael, he kept it. It was amazing.

BA: Well, on the safety, I'm very confused why you went into a single back set with Thomas under center... like you thought you could overpower Auburn.

AS: ~Punching myself in the throat repeatedly~

BA: That was by far the best BCS game though.

AS. Yeah, it was great. I felt like I was gonna throw up for three straight hours.

BA: You just boned that TD, why Kelly insisted on running inside I will never know.

AS: I can't decide if you're making me feel better or worse... hang on... yep, definitely worse.
Did you think Harris intercepted that throw?

BA: Wait, perhaps I was drinkign too much... when he caught it and rolled out of bounds?

AS: (Grasping at straws) Yeah! He had control!!! Or?

BA: Wait, I thought it was called a pick.

AS: No. He caught it, had control, and his forearm was down. Auburn scored on the next play, or one after that.

BA: Well you got hosed there.

AS: Thank you.

BA: (Sadistically rubbing salt in the wounds) Also, you guys weren't throwing down field. 3rd & 15, lets try a 5 yard WR screen. There were a number of play calls where you threw a 5 yard pass when you needed 15, and that was clearly the play call.

AS: ~Sighing~ There was a 3rd and 12, too, I think, where Thomas elected to keep it, and he had NOWHERE to go. It was bizarre. Despite all that, their defense played really well, and had it not been for the safety and the non-interception, it could've easily been 19-3 or something like that. Everything went horribly wrong.

BA: Sadly, I didn't gamble on it. I picked Auburn in a close one. Plus, you got boned because Auburn plays a similar offense. They probably practice against your style of offense all the time, so it wasn't new.

AS: (The final nail in the coffin) True that. Let’s just move on to making myself feel better by making fun of those redneck southerners, shall we? Jizzik was sporting some sweet sideburns, did you see? It was like Mattingly in the Simpson's ringers episode.

BA: Jizzik seems like a real good ole boy - probably fucked a pig after the game.

AS: Yes, see!!! This proves that Oregon was the better team. Did you see their QB coach's name?
Guz! "Gus iz too hahd fuh me tuh say, so ahm jist gonna call yew Guzzzz."


Since this was obviously the highpoint of our post-game analysis, we decided to stop there.


Worst - Orange Bowl : This was incredibly disappointing, but I should have seen it coming. The worst part of this game was listening to the announcers talk up VT’s QB Tyrod Taylor, who just flat out sucks. They went on and on about how versitle he is, and how dangerous his legs are, but that doesn’t seem to matter if you can’t convert a third down. VT got their ass kicked, and stanfurd’s QB Andrew Luck came out looking like the next Peyton Manning; so much for that vaunted Hokie defense.

Clock Management Award - Bret Bielema / Rose Bowl : This could have beat the title game, but Bielema boned this game and gave idiots an opening to complain for another year. TCU played well, and deserved to win, but Wisconsin pissed away a chance to get into the endzone before the half. With two timeouts the Badgers took their sweet time on the final drive of the half, but were caught off guard by the fact that you can’t score after the clock hits 0:00. Wisconsin had no choice but to kick a FG when they should have been trying for 6 - way to go Bret.

Winners

The SEC West : Four ten-win teams, five ranked teams, and the National Title.
Non-AQ Media Darlings
Committing Infractions
Jim Harbaugh : Turned stanfurd’s 12-1 season into the 49ers head coaching job.

Losers

The SEC East : No ten win teams, 1-for-5 in bowl games, only two teams finished above .500.
Boise State : Lose their chance to complain about being snubbed by losing to Nevada, leave the WAC for the MWC which promptly implodes to leave them where they started.

Boise State leaves the WAC for the MWC.

The ACC
The Big East
NCAA’s Authority
Programs Stuck In The Past : Michigan, Miami, and ND have a long way to go. They act like they are elite programs, but they haven’t been for a while. It won’t happen overnight.
Jake Locker : Draft stock may be confused with Enron’s.
Andrew and his stupid Ducks.

Arsenal Leeds Highlights FA Cup Third Round

Arsenal 0-1 Leeds

Arsenal 1-1 Leeds

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year...

Its that time of year again, Bowl Season! I finally get to melt into my couch and reap the benefits of Sanity’s win over the surging Media. Every season the media, and coaches who get “cheated”, come out and bash the BCS and do what they can to make it seem like the worst idea ever. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it and I think we need a +1 format, but we were so close to the media taking it out on fans by “breaking” the BCS. Had Boise State played TCU for the National Title, gah, I don’t even want to think about it.

I’m cheating a little before I get to the bowls since I have to say something about the Heisman race. The award gets handed out on Saturday and I’d hate to write about it after the fact. Even though the award has one obvious winner, this could be one of the most interesting/controversial votes in a while. Lets look at the guys making the trip to NY, listed in order of probable voting.

Cam Newton (QB, Auburn) - Just based on what he has done on the field this year he is the hands down winner. Newton won the Maxwell Award (Best Player), Davey O’Brien Award (Best QB), and the Walter Camp Award (Player Of The Year)… so why is there a debate? Reggie Bush. Well, more accurately, Cecil Newton. Apparently Cecil Newton was stupid enough to try and get around $200,000 from Mississippi State to sign his son out of a JUCO, this supposedly happened without Cam’s knowledge. This is, of course, an NCAA rules violation and should result in the suspension of Cam Newton… but it hasn’t. Auburn ruled him ineligible just for shits and giggles, then asked the NCAA to reinstate him, and they did. Now back to Reggie Bush, he had something similar to this happen to him. An agent gave his parents benefits while at USC, he was later ruled ineligible, and was more or less forced to forfeit his Heisman. How Cam Newton keeps on playing is beyond me, not to mention nobody has said anything about whether Auburn came up with the cash. Auburn and Newton have been silent on this issue, which brings us back to the Heisman and a concern among voters. Bush’s Heisman forfeit was a first and shame, so with all of this swirling around less than a year later, are voters going to vote for a guy who could have to forfeit the trophy down the road? The Bush scenario is so fresh in everyone’s mind that its completely possible that Newton could lose this award out of fear, but the good news is that Cecil Newton is punishing himself by staying outside of the roof where the award ceremony is held.

LaMichael James (HB, Oregon) - Leads the nation in rushing yards (1682) and TD (21), key offensive weapon in the Oregon’s flashy offense, good national exposure, so why could he fall below Luck? James dealt with a pre-season battery charge with his (hopefully) ex-girlfriend, and its been hanging over his head all season. I was delighted to see yet another Oregon player struggling with the law, Andrew can back me up on that, but about a month ago I heard more about the whole situation. Apparently James got into an altercation with his then girlfriend, who reportedly attacked him, and he pushed her down. She pressed charges and he plead guilty to battery to get it all over with, but its been a bad press zombie and seems to be tainting his image. I’m not saying what he did was ok, but the media has been dragging out the battery charge like he punched her lights out for no reason. The bad press could sway Heisman voters away from his on field accomplishments, but then again battery might look pretty good compared to the mess Cam Newton is in.

The contenders, sadly Kevin Riley didn't make the cut.

Andrew Luck (QB, Stanfurd) - This is really close, he could be #2 by quite a bit and would be the biggest benefactor of a Heisman voter revolt. I think he steals a lot of Newton votes and has come on strong toward the end of the season. He enjoyed two consecutive complete demolitions (Cal & Oregon State) to end the season, and has been everyone’s pick for #1 overall in the NFL draft all year. Its no secret he is good, so if the voters turn sour on Newton look for Luck to finish very close to the top.

Kellen Moore (QB, Boise State) - First of all, Moore is a really good QB. The guy has been excellent since starting as a true freshman, but he plays in Idaho so few people get to see him. Sadly his entire Heisman campaign rested on the fortunes of Boise State which didn’t turn out so well. Voters will remember poor Kyle Brotzman boning two game winning FG instead of Moore’s insane 54 yard bomb to Titus Young that put the Broncos in position to win.

Bowl Schedule Highlights

Sad Trombone Bowl (MAACO Bowl Las Vegas) - Utah vs. Boise State. How the once thought to be mighty have fallen. Two teams once in the Top 5 who had decent shots at the National Title game, with some help, find themselves duking it out in a lower tier bowl. This should be a pretty good game, but I doubt either team is saying "Oh wow, we get to play in the MAACO Bowl!" after sniffing at a BCS game.

The BCS Took Our Teams Bowl (Outback Bowl) - Florida vs. Penn State. How do you get two 7-5 teams having bad seasons in a nationally televised New Years Day game? You send a bunch of your teams to BCS bowl games of course. The SEC is sending Auburn (SEC Champ) and Arkansas, and the top heavy Big 10 is sending Wisconsin (Big 10 Champ) and Ohio State. Everyone slides up, and now you get teams with vanilla records that got their teeth kicked in within their conference (Both 4-4) playing each other. I can't wait.

Random Local Sponsor Bowl Game (Beef 'O'Brady's St. Petersburg Bowl) - Southern Miss vs. Louisville. Nothing says bowl season like C-USA vs. Big East in a baseball stadium, unless you throw in a local sponsor and make the game irrelevant.

Best On Paper (Discover Orange Bowl) - Stanfurd vs. Virginia Tech. I hate to say it, I really do, but this could be the best game. I wanted to go with the title game because it could be 77-70 at halftime, but I have a feeling this could be close. VT just seems to keep winning, and Stanfurd is the favorite, but you just don't know. I also wouldn't be surprised if Stanfurd trampled all over VT, I'll have to wait and see.

Worst On paper (New Mexico Bowl) - BYU vs. UTEP. Nothing excites me more than two teams that are just barely bowl eligible going at it. I can hardly contain the joy. I almost went with the Holiday Bowl which features a Nebraska-Washington rematch, but I'm willing to bet Bo Pelini loses his cool and the Huskers win with something similar to their 56-21 victory earlier this year.

Lord Ferg, Forgive Me

I'm sure Sir Alex Ferguson is sending his spies after me right now, and I'd like to beg for mercy. I've gone and helped the enemy, and to make it worse I didn't make any money.

A higher-up at the LA Gooners, an Arsenal supporters group, asked me to help him out with a few shirts and I forsook my allegiances in the name of comedy. You can buy the shirt through the LA Gooners, sadly none of the proceeds will find their way into my pockets.

The shirt in action.

For those of you that don't get it, Emmanuel Eboué is an unabashed Jesus freak who likes making shirts as well.

Bonus points for using the current EPL font.

Bundesliga : Really Late Stock Report

Oh boy, am I behind on this. Perhaps being at Danny Coyle's every Saturday or Sunday morning at 430AM for just about the entire EPL season isn't a good idea, at least I get to watch good football. I'm also distracted by college football, the NFL, a (crappy) World Series, and something about LeBron James. Well, I'm all out of excuses, let get down to it.

Borussia Dortmund : UP. Top of the Bundesliga and they bookend a tepid run with solid wins over Bayern Munich (2-0) and Mainz (2-0). They managed a 1-1 draw to PSG in the Europa League and TSG Hoffenheim in the Bundesliga, then followed it up with a loss (in penalties) to OFC Kickers in the DFB-Pokal (German Cup). Despite a sorry run there they sit atop the Bundesliga, play the most attractive football I've seen from any league team, and are turning into serious favorites to win my devotion.

Yes, we can read.

Side Note : Read an interesting article on the role of Japanese players in Germany and how they have managed to get a foot in the door. The Bundesliga currently has four Japanese players, and Kagawa is quickly becoming the most popular... at least in Dortmund.

Werder Bremen : DOWN. These guys are almost in free fall, and are back to playing like crap. They have managed to lose three straight games in three different competitions. They lost to Bayern Munich 2-1 in the DFB-Pokal, Nurnberg 3-2 in the league, and 2-0 to Twente in the Champions League. They are currently 11th, have a negative goal differential (-2), and I'm not seeing much from potential Man Crush Marko Marin. To make things worse, they have to beat Spurs and Inter to stay in the Champions League AND pray that Twente does the same... not good.

Another Side Note : I will never get this, but why is Nürnberg "Nuremberg" in English? Why is München "Munich" to us?! It's not like we can't pronounce it, or it can't be spelled with our alphabet. This bothers me.

Bayer Leverkusen : DOWN. Another club enjoying a tepid run punctuated by draws and losses. At least they lost to a Bundesliga team (Borussia Monchengladbach) in the DFB-Pokal, and beat Schalke in their last league game. The good news is that Ballack hasn't touched the pitch since September 11th, and they are currently 4th, so its not all bad.

Cue sad trombone.

Eintracht Frankfurt : UP. These guys are on fire lately, going 4-1-0 in their past five games which includes a DFB-Pokal win over a Bundesliga team (Hamburg SV). I still can't name anyone on the squad without looking them up, but they seem to be getting it done. I can't help but think they are riding a bizarre hot streak, maybe its because their 30 year old Greek striker leads the Bundesliga with 9 goals. It doesn't really matter, they are playing well, scoring goals (13 in 5 games), playing defense (4 allowed), and most importantly winning.

Kaisersluatern : DOWN. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Well, they weren't really mighty to start out, but they sure played like it. 1FCK is down to 14th, just three points clear of the relegation zone, and this is after winning their last two games in convincing fashion. They drubbed Arminia Bielefeld (Worst team in the Zweiteliga) and Borussia Monchengladbach (Worst in the Bundesliga) 3-0. A win is a win, but they don't have alot to brag about. If they can take down Leverkusen this coming weekend and make Ballack stare in stone-faced silence I'll move them up the list.

VfL Wolfsburg : NO CHANGE. Wolfsburg isn't moving mainly because they don't have much farther to fall. They seem to be having alot of off field issues, but at least they have won their last three games to crawl into 12th place. The whole Edin Dzeko saga is a real headache, and may continue to be one until the transfer window opens in January. Dzeko has an insane €40 million buy-out clause in his contract, which eliminates all but the richest and stupidest clubs *cough* Manchester City *cough*. Despite this, the guy seems desperate to leave the sinking ship that is Wolfsburg. I just went through the Rooney saga, I don't need to get into another transfer/contract/wages conspiracy.