Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 70 Games Down

I doubt anyone cares, I certainly didn't, but you may have noticed that I skipped a few entries. I've spent the past few weeks questioning my will to live, well not really, just my will to go on managing my team. As far as I'm concerned Andrew and I have been eliminated as possible champs, so all we can do is squabble over finishing in the money.

Andrew has fallen farther in the standings and the gap between him and #1 is probably the biggest its been all season. The team in first, who thankfully deposed the benefactor of Trade Gate, has 65 points and Andrew sits at 6th with 48. His problem is clear; hitting. Offensively the Teabaggers aren't hitting aside from Joey Votto, Brian McCann, and Lance Berkman. If you ever talk to Andrew he will gladly give you lecture about how Dan Uggla, Shin-Soo Choo, Kasey McGehee, Billy Butler, and Jason Bay are killing his team. I actually get up on a daily basis and thank the Baseball Gods that Uggla and his .177 average isn't on my team, and it makes it even worse that he has only hit 8HR and driven in 18RBI. At least Andrew's pitching staff remains awesome, so awesome that if it were mine I would be in first.

Seriously, who knew Jason Bay would suck?

My team is currently in the middle of a catastrophic free fall, which I should have known was coming. I'm losing players left and Wright (oh, that was so clever), and my roster is such a fucking mess with regards to position eligibility. If David Wright isn't done for the season and comes off the DL I think my roster will literally burst into flames. I've got Wright, Matt Holliday, Brett Anderson (probably also done for the season), and (gleefully) Derek Jeter on the DL. Add in Mike "I just got sent down to the minors" Aviles and I'm just sick and tired of losing games/at bats.

Killing me slowly (Shown in order of how much I hate them.)

The only upside to my current situation is that I've still got the best offense in the league. I spent most of my draft capital on hitting, so I'm happy things are working out, but my fingers-crossed pitching strategy has produced the 7th best staff... not good. I managed to snag Ryan Vogelsong for Brett Anderson, and I made a deal with the roster devil to get Eric Hosmer for Aviles. So my season is now riding on two youngsters that are all potential. I'm going to go throw up now.

The (frighteningly) young faces of hope.

Current Status
Bert - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!
Andrew - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 40 Games Down

Oh the mighty Baseball Gods have not been kind these past few weeks. They shower us with gifts and then kick us in the teeth, but it hurts so good. There hasn't been too much change in the overall standings as I float between first and second, and Andrew remains mired in fifth. Unfortunately the benefactor of the dubious trade has climbed into third, and I couldn't be more upset.

Based on some of our conversations I'm not sure if Andrew will live past the end of May. I've been trying to tell him the season is just 1/4th over, but his standards of play are so high it might as well be October. Andrew just got Victor Martinez off and Zach Greinke off the DL, so he should have some hitting and pitching help on the way. I don't think it matters since he hit the lottery with the free agent additions of Michael Pineda (5-2, 52K, 2.45ERA, 1.01WHIP) and the streaking Anibal Sanchez, but Andrew lost Dallas Braden for the season. His deep pitching staff is struggling, headed by his beloved Chris Carpenter (1-4, 4.88ERA), and the now-mortal Jered Weaver and Dan Haren. His hitting has slowed as well, but with a number of studs having bad starts (Dan Uggla, Shin-Soo Choo, Billy Butler) he should be in for an upswing. If it weren't for Jose Bautista's monstrous start he would have the best player in baseball, Joey Votto, so he shouldn't be in 5th for too long.

Maybe next year.

I can't complain all that much since I've stayed in the Top 3 all year, but I actually have a serious problem brewing. David Wright's season is over, well, they haven't said that yet but I'm assuming it is. Wright has been diagnosed with a stress fracture in his back, which I read as "broken back" followed by cursing at the Baseball Gods. This is just like last season when I lost Kevin Youkilis, a four stat stud, but this time its a five stat stud. This all comes off the merry-go-round I have at 2B/SS, which is causing me heartburn. I (finally) dropped Sean Rodriguez, simply because he wasn't starting, and added Mike Aviles only to see him drop into the role of a spot starter. I assumed Aviles would be a starter, since he is listed as one on the Royals depth chart, but he seems to start every other game.

I was too lazy to photoshop in Rodriguez and Aviles, but you get the idea.

At least I can pat myself on the back a little over the Roy Oswalt DL situation. I knew Oswalt would only be out a week, so I managed to avoid the temptation of adding Alexi Ogando or Zach Britton. Ogando and Britton would only start once that week, also because of our waiver rules when Oswalt came back I would make those two available to the rest of the league, so I went for Jhoulys Chacin of the Rockies. Chacin is currently leading the Rockies in Wins, Ks, and ERA, plus he had two starts that week away from Coors Field. In both starts (Padres and Mets) he faced toothless teams in pitchers parks and went 1-0 with 11K, 4ER, and 8BB in 12IP, not bad. In that same week Ogando (1-0, 5K, ER, BB) and Britton (5K CG Shutout) both pitched well, so at least I didn't serve them up for everyone else. Not the league-winning stroke of managerial genius I had hoped for, but at least I made the right choice.

Its pronounced "Yo-lease"

Current Status
Bert - There's no ransom if you don't have a fucking hostage. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.
Andrew - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 30 Games Down

What the Baseball Gods giveth, the Baseball Gods taketh away. Thus is the tale of the past week, and luckily they took a little bit more away from Andrew than they did from me. I have to admit that is a short term view of the situation, but I'm feeling a little better about the long term.

From the ashes of my riskiest selections rise two pitching performances to put me at ease for a few days. First Max Scherzer showed why people have been so high on him by tossing a gem (8IP, 4H, BB, 9K and the W), and then Yovani Gallardo tried to prove to me that he isn't shit by just barely missing a no-no (8IP, H, 4BB, 6K and a much needed W) and extending his stay on my team. Also, it makes me a little sick to say it, but... Derek Jeter finally had a great day. I feel dirty. He went 4/6 with 2HR, raising his season total to 2 and making me hate him just a little bit less.

I did not photoshop his eyes. He actually has two different color eyes.

These things were nice, but I have my share of pain on the way. After dicking around with Carlos Ruiz for a week the Phillies finally put him on the DL, so I'll finally get a warm body in at Catcher. I'm also facing another week, and possibly more, without Roy Oswalt. Oswalt took off a week to attend to his family in Mississippi, which is fine, but now he is headed for the DL with back problems. I'm not looking forward to playing the DL game, but as long as its not my best players I'm ok.

Andrew has not had a good week. Jered Weaver proved to be mortal in a loss to Boston, and then followed that up with a loss to Cleveland. Weaver allowed 7 runs in two games after only allowing 5 in his first six (all wins), not to mention only six strikeouts (0 against Cleveland). Weaver's ERA has exploded, going from .99 to a humiliating 1.87, and his spot in the Angels rotation is at risk. If he allows any more runs he could get sent down to AAA before the end of May. In actuality that is the worst thing to happen aside from falling to 5th in the standings, which is the equivalent of death to him. Lance Berkman continues to destroy the league, he added the studly Michael Pineda and Brandon Beachy (DL add for Dallas Braden) who are pitching like Aces, Dan Haren is back to being Dan Haren, and Joey Votto continues his campaign to knock off Albert Pujols as baseball's top player.

Current Status
Bert - Well they can fucking unpost it!
Andrew - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!